Let's blog Fallout 3!

The final stats

2009-07-07T18:16:00.003+02:00

For those who are interested in Maximus final stats.

Here you go.

I really do hope that you have enjoyed this blog. The game is a little buggy and does NOT posess the same depth as the previous fallout games (flawed and frustrating as they were) and reminds an awful lot about oblivion.

If you loved oblivion and you want to roleplay in a post-apocalyptic future: Get fallout 3.

If you hated everything about oblivion ... try it out regardless.
The minigun is -alot- of fun!

Be warned that the game gets repetitive and somewhat boring though.

RIP MAXIMUS

IT'S OVER???

2009-07-07T17:49:00.007+02:00

OH GOD! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???

I'll try to explain it for you. Maximus idea consisted of:

1. Go to Bryan and get some sleep.
2. Once revived go back to the super-duper mart and cause a ruckus.
3. When the raiders come to see what the ruckus is, blast them all to hell with the fatman!

The problem with this idea was that the raiders hadn't gone back to their positions, they had all ganged up at the entrance and waited to ambush Maximus. The moment he sticked his head inside the door they opened fire with their (totally overpowered and unfair) sub-machine guns and completely destroyed our hero!

Here's another picture to further emphasize the pain being felt.
Note how Maximus pulled out his flamethrower in a last attempt to save himself, only to be tangled up in it - elongating his neck and crushing his right arm something fierce. There also appears to be a sword lodged in his rectum.

I believe this to be the most painful image ever created!

Rest in peace Maximus.
There is no love for your kind in this wasteland ...

EPILOGUE

Bryan Wilks never found a home and eventually succumbed to the wasteland.

Moira Brown never wrote the survival guide but it's ok because she was completely bored with that idea already.

Agatha never got her violin and since Maximus had taken everything she had to defend herself with she soon died at the hands of some unmentionable fiend.

Lucas Simms is still dead.

Nobody knows what happened to these two, nobody knows if they even existed.

Amata is the new overseer of vault 101.

Bittercup was never captured by the super mutants which made her very sad. She put on her black dress, lit a ring of candles and under the full moon slit her wrists. She slit them the wrong way though and severed her tendons. How she managed to do it on both hands is a mystery but as everyone who's been to Big Town lately can tell you: Bittercup is more bitter than ever.

Maximus died because he decided not to be a cowardly wimp anymore. He would help those who needed help and punish those who did bad. It is not clear when or why this decision really came about but Maximus had been near death so many times that he didn't fear it anymore. Feeling invincible he would make this wasteland a better place, earn the admiration of the ladies and truly, finally find love in this harsh world and not just the temporary comfort of a prostitute.

Maximus never found love in the wasteland.

THE END

The demise of lugnut (and stuff)

2009-06-23T05:34:00.008+02:00

I've really been dragging my feet lately. Now that the wretched queen is dead I suppose it's time to head up again.. not paying attention I was ambushed by fire ant warriors who came down upon me with fiery vengeance!

This is bad. Real bad. I had to take buffout again not to drop dead, which isn't the best idea in the world since I'm already feeling SERIOUSLY desperate for Med-X. I think I'm addicted. DAMN!

Still ... I've found the key to the safe so I open it.

So this is the fabled treasure. The package ... it's my size but definitely not my style. (Doesn't come with matching boots and the ground is like 40% broken glass) so if I ever encounter whoever wanted this I'll ... sure. I'll deliver it, what do I care. and a man runs into the room and demands it off me.

Yeah. Well. No.

I could have solved this peacefully but I am not in a peaceful mood at all. My last ounce of blood is mixed up with various drugs and the results aren't pretty! Who would risk (and lose) their life over this ...
Strange affairs indeed ... I'm lucky because I found some supplies in here that I missed earlier, feels good man. I inject everything and head to the surface.

... and of course I am ambushed again. Mercenaries this time! I pop some med-x and some buffout to take 'em on.
There are two of them.
One throws a grenade that completely misses me and pulls a knife. I pull the ripper and show all his limbs how it's done.

The second pulls a lazer pistol and shoots me with his eyes.

No wait. I mean I shot him in the eyes!

It's largely ineffective though so I try out bullets instead.

Much better. Now to find that kid ... wait...

*Skip this if you don't want to hear me whining*

Thanks, fallout 3 you apparently don't think the decapitated ant queen is quite dead yet since the mission is still active. Fuck you. I have to go back down there? Fuck you, fallout 3. Fuck you! (take a swig, I'll take one as well!)

I activate the machine and suddenly the telephatic connection between the queens dead, severed head and her already deceased workers is cut. *Start reading here or I'll hit you* I return to Bryan and he's happy but doesn't really give me anything.
I .. say that I can stop by and tell him if I find a nice home for him .. some time.. maybe.. he tells me he has a cousin in Rivet city. Funny. I was planning on going there sometime.

Anyway I go sleep in his dead fathers bed until lunch. I eat a little and head over to the super duper mart.

Oh ... right.. Raiders.. well. I'll just have to be extra quiet then.

Through the scope of my illogical but efficient magnum I can tell they've got patrol guards. With big guns... it's an open space too I won't be able to sneak my way in here. I open fire.

Sadly I miss. They storm me and hit me more than once so I run outside and prepare a surprise for them.

I would have laid out mines but I used them all up on the ants so ... I got none. The raiders aren't stupid either and don't come out so.. damn. I guess the surprise will have to come to them!

Bad idea bad idea bad idea bad idea!!!

jesus CHRIST those raiders pack a punch! I run back to the kid to get some more rest. I'm not entering that place again until I got some ammunition for my laser rifle, I've fixed my sniper rifle or I've gotten some for my .. oh wait. I got a BETTER idea!

What a fiery pain

2009-06-09T21:11:00.009+02:00

It's time to head back into the ant den and finish what I came here to do ... after I've cleared out the ant den that is. After this I can get back to shopping.

The whole plan was to become a pacifist and not have to fight things all the time.

Yet I throw myself head first into all these crazy adventures, maybe I should have just told that little punk Bryan to fuck off?

I don't even understand what's so dangerous about these ants.
Fire breathing sure but they're hardly a match for most other things in the wasteland. Even seasoned raiders could take them out.

On the bright side I need money to start life anew in one of the vaults. I'm sure there are lots of them out here in the wasteland ... and money? I'm sure that's what inside here. The note I found described this door, inside is the "package" and I'm sure whatever it is will make me RICH!

It's almost an insult to my intelligence. Two ways to open the door, a keyhole AND a computer - and I'm smart enough to figure both out!

It worries me that a room with a "secret package" being stored inside should have such poor, almost inviting security. It might be boobytrapped so it's a good thing I'm a demolitions expert!

aaand there's a locked safe. Curses I've been foiled! so I guess I need the key after all. I'll just move along until I find it, thankfully I found this cool chainsaw-knife called "the ripper" in there. It's worth something I bet.

Found Bryans neighbour. Took his stuff. That's ... if I remember correctly there were 7 people in the little settlement. 2 are confirmed dead and 1 is hiding on the surface. I wonder what else I'll find down here...

DOCTOR LESKO!!! You bastard! He tells me in an annoyingly nasal voice that I'm stomping around in a "highly delicate experimental area" .. he's the one. He created the ants! I threaten to paint the wall with his fucking brains!

He ...
...doesn't respond to threats and seems like a general idiot. He actually wants my HELP to destroy the ants (yeah that's easy. kill the queen) but he says that killing her will terminate months of data.
Instead he wants to activate some kind of equipment in the hatching chamber to destroy the "mindlink" between the queen and the ants ... so they all frenzy and kill eachother.

So that's why they go crazy when you blast their antennas. They lose contact with the queen! The scientist in me begs me and screams for the data and the research. Think of what this can teach us! About ants! It's incredibly unimportant data and likely a huge waste of time but just THINK man! Ants!

Well the human in me demands supplies. Ants are no good to me dead and I've wasted incredible amounts supplies for the sake of that damn kid already. I ask Lesko for some payment and ...

... he says that he hates my selfish individualistic person and that the ant race is superior. So no supplies ... HAVE AT THEE!

Wow the ripper worked like a charm! I looked like a complete retard trying it out but it sure was effective. Justice = Served.

All he could have given me was an injection of some kind of biochemical ant stuff.
Cool. I could become a super hero and fight evil!

So yeah. Now that the doctor is dead I'll proceed to...
1. KILL THE ANT QUEEN.
2. Locate and steal the super-ant formula.
3. Locate and steal the robot.

I start by hacking his terminal and unlocking the door to the queen. Check my ammo.. and get going. Pop some med-x, a drug I've grown curiously fond of ... fight a few ants and what do you know.

A research terminal, a huge ant and my robot. JACKPOT!
I got all I ever wanted! Just gotta take the queen out with my rocket launcher ...

BAM! I blew her antennas clean off! Sadly I blocked the screenshot with the rocketlauncher (take a swig!) but she's frenzied now! ... I guess she lost her ... psychic connection ... to herself.
That makes sense.

She starts to fight the robot which is very inefficient since she spits poison at it or something. I fire missile after missile at her...

Man she's tough skinned. out of ammo. time to try something else!

RIP AND TEAR! She didn't have much to protect herself in melee combat and an active ripper lodged in her throat would have brought the toughest of brutes to their knees.
She is slain!

I'm a bit bashed up. Probably because I stopped moving around for a while and she got some shots in, also I stood in radioactive water. I won anyway and that's the important part! The ants are doomed.
To further humiliate the beast I cut her head off with the ripper. I accidently splatter it all over the cave...
Whatever works man... whatever works.

UP NEXT is stealing the mutagen... but.. on second thought that scientist seemed retarded. Proclaiming things like "oh that rhymed" when faced with a death threat... and when he tried to reduce the size of ants he made them fire breathing and aggressive.
Yeah. Fire-breath and size genes are in the same chromosome, everyone could make that mistake right? We all know babies spew fire right? I destroy the sample because there's no telling what it would do to me.

... so now I only have to tame the robot. He is voice-controlled and I'm no robotics expert so my robot is ... not mine. Shit.
Shit shit shit!

Conclusion:
The ants have been eliminated. All the drones, the warriors, the workers, guardians AND the queen herself.

I'd say the problem is solved.

The town is no more. 7 inhabitants, 1 survivor, 3 confirmed deaths(including the doctor) and 4 missing people. The kid said the ants killed everyone and there are enough bones for me to believe him.

What a fucking tragedy. I wonder if things like this happened on the way to the supermarket before the bombs dropped too?

Sidequest

2009-05-27T22:18:00.007+02:00

I have NO idea what I'm looking for.

I mean. I entered the metro station where the ants have been coming from and I feel like I've already been here a couple of dozen times. I was kind of expecting to see rock storages or .. hatcheries or ... something. This just seems like a pretty regular metro station to me. Just.. a metro station filled with ... giant ants.

Cant' see shit down here! I found some notes in the darkness and apparently .. hold on!

These ants just keep coming! I'm running low on mines. Running low on ammo for my laser rifle too, the more I explore the more I wish they'd just write a guidebook.. by the way what I found was ..
hold on!

There. Out of ants and ammo for the time being. I found a note, there's supposed to be a "package" hidden away down here.
Very interesting! I also found a door .. I'll just poke my head through it and find that it lead outside.

I suddenly find myself dangerously close to a battlefield. I grab my sniper rifle and dodge behind cover, it appears to be some men .. the brotherhood of steel are fighting super mutants! A mutant attacks a brother with a super sledge, I drop him with my rifle and it falls apart in my hands.

Guess I should have repaired it but I have lots of ammo for my laser pistol! I let those mutants have it!
Them ants have to wait for a few seconds!

The super mutants go down and I turn to the brotherhood. Surely this display of bravery has earned me their never ending friendship and a personal robot servant?

Paladin Hoss tells me they were performing a training exercise when the super mutants cut them off. An initiate is barricaded in a building and there's NO time to lose! We quickly dispatch another squad of mutants. or. well. -I- dispatched them while Paladin Hoss was busy getting ... dispatched.

The battle was cool though.

I put the looting on hold since that cool power armor is their uniform and I don't want to upset anyone. I take note of the fact that his head has been shattered but I am still able to recover his helmet. Way to go, Bethesda! (take a swig)
While on the subject I took Mr.Burkes cool hat and glasses but his head still had them on afterwards, what's up with that?
(take another!)

Anyway there is no time for that now. There is a man in trouble! I hurry to the entrance to the building. Thank goodness it wasn't the exit or I wouldn't known what to do!

See? Entrance.

Also I know. Look. The fire ants aren't going anywhere, the kid is locked in a personal shelter and the super duper mart isn't leaving either. I have time for a sidequest to my sidequest!

... the battle against the super mutants was uneventful at best.
The initiate was dead, the mutants were basically just standing around and congratulating eachother on an initiate well done. I nailed them with my rocket launcher and gathered supplies.
Ammo and healthkits and such.

... so... the guy whom I was supposed to save is dead... and the guy who asked me to save him is also dead.
No chance of a reward here I guess?

The surviving paladin won't reveal his name and just tells me to move along and claims that he "has this area under a lockdown" which seems kind of ... well it's just him and he's limping. Fine. You jerk I'll loot your buddy, gear up and go back to the ants.

What a disappointment this has been and .. wait a minute.
What kind of pain is this?

1st of all I can't put on the power armor because I need training in it.
2nd of all it's too heavy to carry so I can't sell the valuable thing.
3rd of all I found his severed head, it was a mistake to believe it shattered when it was like, right there man. I remove the helmet from it and suddenly ...

Way to go, Bethesda!

NR#1

2009-05-20T14:01:00.001+02:00

So if you google search "Aspgren" on blogs ... this blog is NR#1!

Awesome huh?

Actually I figured you could use a swig. Take a swig!

Fire ants of death and ... fire

2009-05-17T10:37:00.008+02:00

Holy shit where did that city come from? It's been there all along while I've been running up and down in the wasteland? God damn it what a ...

well onward! to victory!

When I approached the super duper mart I heard gunshots and explosions. On further investigation I found a giant ant, a giant dead ant, two dead raiders and a scared little boy. I kill the boy and talk to the ant... no wait. other way around.

So the kid is called Bryan Wilks and he tells me that "fire ants" have emerged in their settlement and killed everything. He's scared shitless and wants his dad so I agree to help him on the spot.
I mean. a little shopping? I'll put that off WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?

Fuck you super duper mart I got bigger ants to fry!

From what the boy told me it seems there's an interesting terminal to be found on the settlement and some doctors house that probably has some loot in it.
I think I'll be able to find out some information, save an innocent life, redeem my previous actions thta caused a boy to become an orphan and acquire a robot servant. ONWARD! Into battle!
For victory! For glory! For personal benefit!

So they spew fire. 6-legged flamethrowers that go crazy and attack eachother when damaged.

Like that.

Nasty surprise that cost me some pain in the ass the first time they vomited fire but .. I suppose I should have seen it coming. Y'know .. FIRE ANTS and all... well they're still only insects! Insects don't stand much of a chance against my superior and plentiful weaponry!
Mines in particular seem effective.

But unfortunately ... it is too late.

I decide to pay my respects by cleaning out his house of all valuables before delivering the bad news. In a nearby shack I find the terminal I was looking for. It is AWESOME now I can g... shit. His robot is gone, it's outside of the reach from this terminal I can't give it orders. I am disappointed, this is such a pain.

Still. I log into his computer and have a look around... it seems he has been genetically programming giant ants to make them into ... regular ants but instead they became fire-breathing monsters. or something.

Nature is fascinating.
Apparently fire-breath and size are like one chromosome apart.

I don't know if I got the big picture in this but it seems the doctor is responsible. If he is dead or not I don't know but considering the robot is "out of reach" from this command center the good doctor is likely to be the same. Hm. I wonder where .. I continue searching through the houses..

Didn't find much, just a few notes by a neighbour on how the doctor fucked everyone over. Apparently the ants are extremely aggressive too. Though that was pretty obvious by now... shit. what a pain I have to tell the kid.

He wants me to kill them all so that no one can ever be hurt by them again. Uh. I didn't agree to do that, kid. I really, REALLY didn't agree to do that I just came to protect your old man.
He's right though. I don't think it'll be too hard .. the ants are tough, fire-breathing and numerous but damn are they stupid. I tuck the kid into a safety shelter and take a couple of them out. I check my map and ... well what do you know.

Their nest is just around the corner. Now I am supposed to be shopping... but what the hell. Stomping a few insects. WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?

Back on track.

2009-05-03T17:33:00.012+02:00

.
EVERYTHING HAS BEEN SORTED OUT!

I feel oddly relieved and relaxed as I say those words. It is almost as if they aren't actually related to the deeds that have been done here this night.

I feel fine. The girl has been re-rescued and everyone is happy ... now in the horrible post-apocalyptic wasteland I guess it is up for debate if anyone is happy at all.

... actually. I shouldn't be happy. The captives, the bodies, the super mutant.. this is obviously a super mutant hideout up in the cliffs but I have only seen one Super Mutant.. no patrols or anything. Truly this is a strange area!

I'll need some supplies before heading back so I take a look inside one of the shacks and OH MY GOD!

A giant ugly face charges towards me and screams in anger! He must have heard the commotion and waited to ambush me! I do the only reasonable thing and burn off his retinas.

In this cramped space I need to be able to parry his onslaught!
It's your time to shine, sword!

It's a bit hard to see anything in here except his large musclular body so I slash at it like a maniac while he's blindly swinging his huge nailed board into everything except me. Eventually I prevail!

You see big guy. Crime doesn't pay... hm. this situation raises two questions..

First. If the world is such a cruel place that people have to resort to crime, and crime doesn't pay. Does that mean that some people were born truly without a chance in hell to make it?
Second. From the looks of it he has been using this stove. Can you imagine how hard it would be to bend over that thing when you're his size?? He has to stand on his knees to be of normal length!

Wait. I hear crying and whimpering. In the next room I find ...
nothing.

Odd. I still hear the crying and.. someone asks me to set her free. Is it a ghost?? Oh god I can't handle ghosts, what if the vault overseer has come to haunt me??

My eyes adjust and I see that it's just a black woman being held hostage. What a relief! I let her go and scout the rest of the shacks.

I find grenades, about a million dead bodies and a nailed board carrying the inscription "Board of education" .. heh heh. That's funny. That's really funny.

Child abuse ... haha.

Now I guess I'll rest a bit here and continue in a few hours. Don't have time to sleep properly, might be more mutants here any second but honestly my dogs are barking!

I'll head towards the area I spotted in the east. It might be the fabled Bethesda ruins! I'll find that fabled treasure that John the wastelander stole!

Oh great. Just. Great. It's a deathclaw den. I spot two of the foul demons patrolling the area and these ones aren't limping!
Assuming this is the Bethesda ruins I wonder how they were destroyed ... Did they summon deamons from the gates of oblivion and destroy themselves?

Hyuk Hyuk. Take a swig!

I thought I'd sneak closer and see if this really is Bethesda but...
Deathclaws are watching me intently so I go away never to come back.

After a long and uneventful hike I stand outside Agathas house again. I pop in to ask her some questions about her violin.

Apparently it's in a vault and the location of the vault can be found in some terminal in the central city. I guess.. it's not THAT far away.
Vault 92 .. I could be let in. I could start my life over again, no more of the heatless wastes just a nice, loveable and safe vault. I move out immediately and the hike back to Megaton is also very uneventful. (I'm not fast traveling. Honest! also take a swig)

Moira impresses me with her vast knowledge of potatoes and landmines. As a reward for my help she hands me a bunch of grenades and schematics for a "bottlecap mine" ... I am not sure how to feel about creating EXPLOSIVES partialy made out of MONEY as adviced by a woman who thinks POTATOES and LANDMINES have things in common!

My concern grows as she asks me to another thing for her...

"Oh Maximus I have just the thing for you!"
Yeah?
"I need to study the effects of radiation poisoning."
Uh huh?
"So would you be a dear and go stand next to the bomb?"
Sure I c- what?
"Oh you know. Stand in the radioactive puddle and become sick with radiation."
You want me to hang out with the crazy priest and burn my testicles off?
"No I s-"
I know what you said Moira. It's just I kind of would like my bloodline to continue, I would like to be able to reproduce!
"I don't see how th-"
Let me take it from the top ...

And thus I explain the process of radiation sickness on the human body. Since I am a learned man I am able to explain all of this to her, she doesn't quite understand it at first so I have to dumb it down ... it is like explaining how sex works for someone. Except it doesn't concern Flowers and Bees it's more about Grapes and Prunes.

Hey guys. Take a moment to let that mental image sink in.

So Moira asks me to check out a super duper mart for food and medicine.. not a bad idea! It's on the way and I can resupply before going to the Vault Tech Headquarters! It's a super duper idea!

With the motorcycle handbreak I bought from Moira and my strength and all my friggin guns and stuff that I can carry now WITHOUT PROBLEMS I am really pumped!

Maximus is going shopping!

And apparently looks like a pedophile!

Maximus is depressed and goes to sleep. Wish I'd kept that board... further confusion arrises as I bump into Lucy West and find myself unable to tell her that. uh. her brother murdered her family and he is now in the care of VAMPIRE GANGSTERS. I don't know why I just don't ... want to.

It was pretty important information too!

Patience is a virtue

2009-04-16T03:46:00.003+02:00

... of the fool.
Honestly why wait for something you can hurry along?

Well I'm sorry to say but the real world is interfering and I know that the easter egg hunt sucked. I threw it together and I should have stopped while I was ahead. The gnome and dogmeat-murder parts were unneccessary.

Well I didn't write it beforehand so that's what you get.

Of course I haven't written the Maximus story beforehand either, it's how I played the game and then I simply try to roleplay it into being a bit more funny than it actually was. I should be updating more regularly but really ... real life is a bitch.

I'll say this though the deal with the blog is to follow Maximus until he dies, once that happens I'm thinking maybe I should reincarnate him in some other game. So what do you want to see?
Oblivion? Morrowind? Dwarf Fortress? Medieval 2: Total war (as one of my generals it'd probably be two posts long) or something? Anything just throw a game where a balding 20-year old man with a name bigger than his balls can wander around aimlessly and hopefully solve things without resorting to violence.

Oh dear. No violence? That leaves only "the sims" doesn't it? Games are pretty much ALL ABOUT inflicting violence upon someone or humiliating them.

EASTER EGG HUNT

2009-04-08T23:18:00.012+02:00

Well since Maximus is dead and buried by now we'll turn our attention to another adventurer.

Or rather a party of adventurers! Going after the mystic note that Maximus found in the last episode!

The location?
The trainyard north of the Bethesda ruins. The members?

This adventure began like most adventures these 6 get into...
With Sticky telling horrible stories.

After putting up with the runt for what seemed like an eternity Aspgren politely asked him to be quiet and stop talking.

Sticky didn't stop so Aspgren had to politely ask again.

Okay with that distraction out of the way it was time to start the easter egg hunt! The details? The Easter Egg was located in a burned out bus in one of the corners of the scrapyard.

Shouldn't be that hard to find. Especially if they remembered to place a marker where they had already looked.

Yes. Something like that.
Since they didn't think things through they went from the Northwestern corner (without searching it) to the Southwestern corner, looking through all the buses they found.

Ironically there weren't even any buses in the southwestern corner. So they went back to the northwest.

Not there either. They looked and rummaged through the place... nothing. The party were getting cranky.

Clover: This place sucks.
Shorty: ...
Sydney: Come on, let's get to the archives.
Shorty: ...
Dogmeat: Bark! woof! Bark!
Sydney: Archives! Let's go! Hurry-o! Partner let's go!
Clover: I'm bored.
Shorty: ... *smokes cigarette*
Dogmeat: (standing at a burned out bus) BARK BARK BARK BARK!
Clover: Can I have a better gun?
Sydney: Come on. Let's get moving.
Shorty: ...
Dogmeat: BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK
Aspgren: Bad dogmeat! BAD!
Dogmeat: *whine...*
Shorty: ...
Clover: I wonder what Eulogy is doing...

And with no luck, night fell upon the wasteland.

The search continued. .. Northeastern corner - nothing!

Southeastern corner - nothing!

Stupid dogmeat refused to leave the bus he had found.

The party circled around the scrap yard wondering what they had missed ... could it be that the random encounter had to be encountered BEFORE the easter egg would spawn?
That it simply didn't exist yet?

Annoyed with this. An easter egg hunt without an egg ... the party started to move out of there. Why not head south?
To see what the Bethesda ruins were... but then they noticed they were heading to the northwest again.

Embarassed they remembered that they had forgotten to mark the northwestern corner. Aspgren shot a vehicle and it went *poof* ... inflicting minimal damage on the party, killing Sydney and Shorty.

What the hell ... weaklings! thought Aspgren.

... and then the vehicle went *BOOOM!* inflicting massive damage on the party, mildly annoying Clover.

Clover had had it with Aspgren. He was always causing things to explode on her so she eloped with a mysterious stranger.

This was the final straw. Now it was only Aspgren and Dogmeat. No one else ... and dogmeat didn't want to leave that darn bus alone. Aspgren had to drag him from there and he still barked.
The love of his life and his best friends were gone. Aspgren was in a horrible state of internal turmoil... clearly there was only one thing to do on this holiday known as easter: Murder Suicide!

First he had to put dogmeat to sleep which ... turned out to be alot harder than expected.

So Aspgren had to rummage through his backpack to find even more effective ways to kill the loyal dog, the kind and loyal dog who wouldn't stop looking at that damned northwestern bus.

The deed had been done. Now all that was left was suicide... Aspgren had to.. hold on. What is this?

The easter egg! It wasn't in vain! All this pain and suffering hasn't been in vain! (actually it all was but let's ignore that for now.)
Aspgren was thrilled! Happy! He found the mysterious easter egg! .. he had to take it easy. Play it cool. Savor the moment. He waited until dawn and then picked the lock ...

BOOKS! Two damned dime-a-dozen BOOKS! and a moldy old COMIC BOOK! This is the worst easter ever! Is this the stolen goods? The treasure? The payoff for all this pain and suffering?

CURSE YOU EASTER!

Aspgren was devastated. He wanted to kill himself but his hatred reached further. FAR further! He would destroy the world! He would take someone with him! In fury he marched from the scrap yard towards a certain house that housed a certain old lady.

Agatha. You will die!

But Aspgren was prevented to enter. In his path stood a garden gnome! The little bugger didn't move an inch and appeared to be a lifeless object from ages past ... but make no mistake. These little things are known to be indestructible space adventurers!

Aspgren would battle this beast!

What - wait! Where'd that gnome go??
As soon as Aspgren pulled the trigger the gnome disappeared.
A rustle behind him! Aspgren spun around and r-

... this was the final chapter in the Aspgren story.

Maximus will return in the next blogpost.

update soon I swear

2009-04-07T16:10:00.003+02:00

tomorrow most likely. sorry i gotta do some stuff first

The fall of a hero

2009-04-01T07:55:00.004+02:00

Unfortunately for Maximus he would soon find out that the area was festering with super mutants. They had been in ambush for him and sprung out as soon as he saved the captive girl.
Maximus shot at them and threw grenades, hid and ran as best he could but in the end it was futile.

They were like over 9000 to one and Maximus easily succumbed to their ferocious onslaught.

Rest in peace Maximus Edmund Wellington ... Rest in peace.

Flesh, blood and memories in the mountains

2009-03-31T00:18:00.012+02:00

I check my pip-boy ... that place is so far away it's not worth it. If I go there I might find ANYTHING and then I have to hike back over uncharted territory, I probably won't survive that ... there are people here. I've run into that trader more than once and the guards are guarding something up here.
Is it the demon? .. well I have to do something about him.

BAM!!!

Why didn't I think about this earlier? He's LIMPING from before and can't reach me up here. Two missiles and he's still standing? Wow thank god he is hurt. He can barely walk now so I take my laser rifle and shoot him in the snout, blowing his head off and turning his whole body to ashes!

Awesome! I loot the human torso to find schematics for a "deathclaw gauntlet" .. basically take the hand of a "Death claw" and glue it to some medical brace and you're able to claw worse than a top model!
Where am I to find a death claw hand ...

Oh right. This demon is apparently a "deathclaw" and, uh, I loot his hand from the ash pile. Curiously his head didn't form an ash pile of its own, it disappeared in thin air and, uh .. the hand is larger than the ash pile it came from! An incredibly small ash pile for such a huge creature too.

It's odd. I can only retrieve ONE hand when it obviously had two ... and I saw both turn to ashes just a minute ago. That's some grade A programming and attention to detail right there Bethesda!
(take a swig!)

I decide to leave the illogical and silly-named death claw behind and go look for civilization. Sadly all I find is a raider's nest.

The organ bags give them away ... but wait. It doesn't make sense, raiders paint grafitti and decorate their hideouts with mutilated bodies, not gore-bags. Super mutants put up organs but they also post guards. I haven't seen any guards ... and now I see my good trader/scavenger friend entering the area.

I guess there's nothing to be scared off! These people must be those who hunted the old man, I've dealt with cannibals.. err. Vampires before and I've only had pleasant experiences! ... if they're pissed about the guards I killed I'll just remind them that I killed them without breaking a sweat!

vampires ...

Hm ... what is this ... feeling ...

Ian West ...

Some kind of ... something I remember.

Ian ... West ... Vampire ...

...

Lucy ... Fear ...

Oh son of a bitch.. ! Arefu! THAT'S WHAT LUCY IS AFRAID OF! THE VAMPIRE GANGSTER ATTACKS!!

Oh god damnit what a pain! Friggin hell what a PAIN! I've been running around here searching for those vampires and taking a HUGE DETOUR ... AGAIN!

I head towards the cannibals nest but I'm in too bad of a mood and too much of a hurry so I fall into a canyon where I have to battle a pair of dogs. Huh. Would you look at this.

I found a dead guy down here. He has a key and a note ... blablabla his name is John he stole something from his brother Billy and he loves his wife Loreen and he stashed it in "a burned-out bus at a corner in a scrapyard north of the 'Bethesda ruins'" and would you look at that! Who would have thought that Bethesda would come up twice in the same blog post? It must be an easter egg of some sort! I'm ACHIN' to have it!

Take a swig!

Unfortunately I have no idea where the "Bethesda ruins" are so I continue to the cannib-

OH HEY this is the lovely scavenger/trader/future girlfriend I've been telling you guys about.

Man she has beautiful eyes. She's great at repairing stuff and I feel we've really connected through all our adventures ... we don't say much, it's more a mutual understanding type of thing. Is this it? Has Maximus Edmund Wellington finally found love in the wasteland??
"Love on the Cannibals porch." ... man that sounds like a good song. Someone should compose it!

I don't have much to offer her right now so I buy some grenades and that's that... she's on her way. God her beautiful eyes circle in my head still as I turn to greet the inhabitants of th-w-WAIT A MINUTE!

YOU again??

"Hey."
...
"So you got caught again huh?"
... yes. please. set me free?
"Coming with me this time?"
...
"Well?"
... no.. but you can have my supplies if you let me free... you have no idea what they said th-
"They said they'd eat you"
yes ... how'd y-
"The partially eaten corpses kinda give it away."
... oh... so..?
"Yeah yeah I'll release you."

She sure is a stupid one.. mutants and then cannibals. This raises a troublesome question... I might be falling for the lovely scavenger lady but I am here to find love and do good deeds. She traded with the inhabitants of this place and just left the prisoner alone. For all I know she might even have sold her to them.
Can love blossom, even on the battlefield?
Even in the harsh wasteland?
Even between two opposite sides of the alignment sheet? "Our party cannot be together my love ... but in between quests and random encounters I will visit you. Let us take swigs together!"

It is a troublesome question ... and a more troublesome one is that maybe we're all good but the world calls for us to kill out of necessity. The world is shaped by man, however that means people have to go against what is "necessary" for their personal survival to change the world for the rest.
If everyone did this, if everyone just put their neck on the line ... well that sounds a little like war ... and war is what brought the apocalypse ... war never changes and neither does the human race.

I guess the never-ending struggle of good and evil is too large a question to tackle with only a few moments of consideration. I want to do some peaceful trading so I look for the owner of th-

I caught the guy as he was shooting after the fleeing captive.
I'll teach you to kill and devour beautiful young women!!

Ashes to ashes, scumbag.

Work

2009-03-24T22:20:00.003+01:00

ok guys I don't know how I'm gonna do with updates for the next 7 days because ... frankly I have alot of stuff to do.

we'll see if I can squeeze one in

Hearts of stone among the rocky hills

2009-03-20T15:43:00.012+01:00

Mel has finally stopped sobbing. He reminds me of me when I first stumbled into the wasteland ... except I had ammunition and I'm pretty sure I'm more handsome than he is.

So... exactly where the heck am I? I look around for settlements and see...

Lotsa stuff. Nothing interesting.

I can't decide where to go so I check my pip boy map and it tells me I've strayed off the planned route towards the northwest. To correct the course I should head to the north EAST which looks like...

Jack shit.

You never know what's hiding behind the rocks. Raiders? Mole rats? Robots? Super mutants? Frightened civilians? The mother and father of Lucy West? More rocks?
Something that exists for sure is this: Higher ground. From there I can probably see the entire wasteland! If I can't spot any villages from there they simply don't exist and that's that. I'll give up and return to Moira Brown.

The radio is still broadcasting it's message over and over... Mel is still cowering next to the mast. I'll leave the radio on in case something important gets broadcasted later.

Bye Mel! Be a good boy now!

Some time later I find myself among the rocks.

Can you spell "ambush" ? Because this is a perfect position for one.
I've spotted a couple of dogs but they seemed fairly uninterested in me ... the radio signal from the tower died out rather quickly and now even Enclave radio is coming in jerky.

Not too long ago there were creatures attacking me left and right and now everything is suddenly quiet? Being incredibly suspicious I sneak forward with the radio off.. anything can pop out.. I'm worried.

BOOM! .. uh.. an old man came running, hunted by men with rifles. I had the means to intervene and did so without hesitation.
I'm starting to understand why the evil men in this world are angry with me. I'm doing the right thing and I help people ... doesn't mean I've been thinking I'm better than others! Holier-than-thou huh ... yeah. Sure.

I ask the old man for a reward and he shows me enormous gratitude.

I guess my reward will have to come from the dead bodies.

Wow there's not alot left. I find some ammunition and ... some kind of strange meat.
Haven't seen this kind before. It's in good condition so I pack my pockets and keep walking. I wonder why they had so much of it? ... the only logical thing I can think of is that they are out on a long trip or on patrol and these are rations... they wouldn't attack an old man on a regular trip so they must be patrolling something.
Nothing on them indicates any relation to Lucy West however.

mm. this meat is tasty I've never tasted sweeter I can warrant! I wonder what these guys were patrolling anyway, what are they hiding up here? More delicious meat?

Oh. oh shit. A DEMON ... I only saw one who was already dead, I don't know how strong it is ... but considering the SIZE of it and the body that's missing ... EVERYTHING. it's just a TORSO lying there! I really don't want to find out how sharp the claws are.

Why were the men patrolling and protecting THIS?? Are they some kind of beast lords? Were they ... were they hunting people to feed to their ancient demon god? With his ancient evil glowing eyes fixated ... on... me.

I scurry up the rocky walls like a beetle.

Ok I'm on the mountain now. I've got a fairly good view from here but there's so much weird shit going on up here I really don't want to linger about. I need a drink!
I'd head to that place I can see far away but ... it's too far away. What should I do? I'm officially giving up on Lucy West. I want to head back to Megaton but that... creature is in the way!

What a pain!

Alot of stuff's going down in post-apocalypticaaa these days

2009-03-17T05:48:00.008+01:00

I check the message again. Yep. Green on black it says "holier-than-thou" ... jerks. At this point there isn't any point in wearing the radiation suit since the ghouls almost tore it off my body. Damnit. I liked that suit!

Since there might be god-knows-what inside the power plant I pop some med-x, rad-x and radaway.. equip my armor and goofball helmet. Time to explore! ...

I found some stimpacks (SCORE!) and a powerfist next to a computer terminal ... I hacked the terminal and disengaged a lock which was odd because I didn't find any locks in there. Apart from that it was empty, waste of good med-x.

I've decided that when I reach civilization again I'm going to do some investigating and find out who ordered the hit and why! .. can't think about that right now though. I press northward and run into the trader again, she repairs my stuff and I sell her the hunting rifle and some random crap.

If I don't find that Lucy girls place soon I'm giving up on the West Mystery as I've come to call it.

What the? That was an explosion! I saw gunfire too. I approach the site and raiders pop up out of nowhere. I open fire.

I killed 3 raiders, they seemed to be wounded already... piece of cake. The area's calm now so I run to the explosion site ...

Damn it. Damn it all! What a pain! Four wastelanders... FOUR of them and one dead raider. Seems they were properly defeated... I'm at the "Reclining grooves resort homes" apparently which obviously means that ....

I have no friggin idea what that means.

I don't see any sign that these people are related to Lucy. They don't carry any papers or holotapes or anything .. I find that they carry grenades though while the raiders didn't. Maybe they blew themselves up in a pathetic attempt at self defense? other than that there's a dead radscorpion and a stimpack.

Oh and a molerat who bites into a flying radio which promptly explodes in his mouth.

I think that's very funny but the molerat doesn't seem to agree.

Well there's nothing for it. I continue walking and BZAP my arm hurts, damn! for a wasteland there sure are alot of CREATURES in it! This time it's a robot. I mean. Cyborg. Bastard got the drop on me but I got a brand new laser rifle, bitch! Eat it!

It's a real pain. Wounded by robots ... bah. I'm cranky and kinda want to give up on this Lucy thing. ALOT. Still ... I'm not quite done yet. This area is dangerous but it's interesting so I'm continuing north. Heading for higher ground seems like a good idea. I can probably spot settlements from up there!

OH SHIT I AM AMBUSHED BY A BANDIT

Uh. Hi Mel. This is Mel, everyone. Say hi! He "demands" my money ... I don't like to kill things so I just point out that his gun obviously isn't loaded and turn away. He starts crying and covering in a corner ... I try to cheer him up, get him to join me perhaps but he just freaks out on me.
I leave him where he is. He's covering in a corner of a broadcast tower of some sort ... I pick up the radio station but it's just some cryptic morse code message. If I took my time I could decode it but... no. Not in the mood.

Time to take a good look around and decide where to head next!

Braaains

2009-03-13T09:26:00.008+01:00

The old man had various ammunitions, a sweetass rifle and best of all: a matress. I'm able to rest and this is turning pretty profitable for me. I've collected about 16 mines from this place.
"Sell them and collect the profit" said Moira Brown.
Place them on the ground and blow shit up says I!

Apart from the mines and the old man there's not really anything of interest here. I find an old house filled with ROACHES! I slip into my exterminator suit and kick some carapace!

The last thing you'll ever see

I didn't get any good screenshots and I'm pretty sure you're all tired of roach-busting images anyway (take a swig!) so whatever. I did try out the sword and the sledgehammer but there's just no beating the baseball bat. It is THE best roach-killing weapon.

Apart from the roaches there wasn't anything of value.. I found a Grognac the barbarian comic book but that's it. No notes, no computers, nothing to indicate the man was a relative of Lucy ... I'll just keep looking.

Since I got to sleep a bit I feel much better and I decide to press my luck. With the sniper rifle in hand I continue north to find the settlement of which Vanya spoke.
I find a trader. She repairs some of my stuff, I sell her some junk, I protect her from a couple of robots... clearly nothing of interest I thought but then all of a sudden ...

It's a robot no doubt. It fires at me but I got the higher ground. A few shots to the head (brain in a bubble? fairly obvious weak spot!) and I can soon inspect the broken machine ...

My advanced knowledge of all things scientifical and mechanical tells me that a robot with a human brain inside is a cyborg. I'm fighting cyborgs here! Cool! It attacked me close to a power plant. At first glance I thought it to be a raider hideout and wanted to avoid it but ...

I don't see any guards, graffiti or mutilated bodies... and I kind of want a robot servant or better yet a cyborg servant so I'll investigate. Just a peek. I remember it was pretty profitable the last time I went into a place like this.
I had a jolly good time too!

The place is huge so I won't go through it all. Probably. I'm hoping to find an active cyborg and can't help but wonder who in their right mind would put those things in the field. The hand cannon it wielded sure wasn't for welding I can tell you that much! It must be a m-m-m-fffffff

everything goes blurry

I guess. I guess he hit me harder than I thought. My skull's fractured .. on the inside I hear the growls of feral ghouls and my pip-boy tells me there's way too much radiation in here with it being a nuclear plant and all.
Ghouls are pussies so I slid into my radiation suit, pop rad-´x, med-x and prepare to do some zombie extermination SWORD style!

Hey what's another word for an inexperienced swordsman with a fractured skull going up against several enemies?
That's right. "MAXIMUS"!

I can barely make out their movement in the light and shadows. They claw at me and I suddenly find myself backing up and blocking blow after blow. These guys are armored! and one of them is glowing all over the place. There's at least SIX of them!

I retreat outside

They're fast but I'm faster. I can move around more here and shoot them. A couple of warriors have joined the battle! What luck! They fire at the zombie swarm I brought out after me.

Bullets are surprisingly ineffective and as the zombies catch up there's only one thing to do.

BURN! Burn you abominations! Thank god the warriors came along. I was getting myself into some real trouble there! From what I can tell they took care of most of them. I burned two up and now there's only one left. The zombie has knocked the rifle out of the hands a warrior.

I got him! They're dead! Victory belongs to us humans! There really is love in the wasteland! The man is in bad shape but I go to shake his hand and we can bury his friend...

w-w-WHAT? Why would he. He's. I mean. He's out to kill ME?? But he just saved my life! He attacked the ghouls! He's my hero! and ... he's picking a fight? He's unarmed and severely bleeding!

His backup is dead and he wants to fight me??

I thought he wasn't serious until I could taste his knuckles. It's very sad but I shoot him in the face and that was that.

Now what? I haven't done anything really significant .. have I? Why is there a price on my head? Is it because of the incident with Mr.Burke and the Sheriff? Bastards ... my head aches.. the man has some stuff on him. A brand new laser rifle. an order to kill the "holier-than-thou" jerk that is Maximus ...

That's totally uncalled for. I ... oh ... I've killed a large number of raiders ... that must be why. Someone people have pooled together to put a bounty on my head.

My poor, bald, fractured head.

Traps, ambushes and jerks

2009-03-09T23:06:00.009+01:00

The thing about working for Moira Brown is that I don't have to kill anyone. I'm working for a good cause and I can just sneak into minefield, grab a few mines and return.

Sounds easy enough! I'll check out any settlements I find on the way for the West family. I start with "Springvale elementary school" which sounds like a nice ... place ...

Wow. Mutilated children. That's ... that's... that's something else. If the Wests are here I guess that tragedy has come to an end. This place seems to be big and full of raiders (their foul language gave them away) so I'm legging it out of here!

As I head north I'm reminded that hey. Maybe they're from big town? Big town is to the north-northwest. I don't remember if anyone was called "West" over there... and I'm curious to see how they handle the super mutants and of course... I'm greeted by a super mutant right in the center of town. I quickly show him who's in charge!

Feel the burn you abomination! Oh hey another UFO.

Strangely enough the mutant had the exact same gear as the one I got my first hunting rifle from. And stood precisely where I killed that guy.. and even STRANGER is that the residents are unharmed.

Even Bittercup is alive! I thought she'd killed herself... and.. she's outside during sun-up? Wow. What's going on here?

"Hey Maximus!"
"Hey Bittercup! Long time no see!"
"You're telling me! You came back! I'm so glad. Here. I've been saving this for you!"

Bittercup gave me some rad-away.

"Hey thanks. What's in the rad-away bag?"
"Rad-away."
"No. Really?"
"Yeah duh! What else would it be?"
"But the package isn't damaged. It's not leaking."
"I know."
"The needle seems disinfected."
"Of course!"
"It's not even dirty or anything!"
"Why would it be?"
"It's even gift wrapped!"
"Yeah I did that."
"In bright colors!"
"Don't you like it?"
"... this is a good and usable present."
"I'm glad you like it! :)"
"Bittercup..."
"mm?"
"Are you ... smiling?"

Bittercup smiles, blushes, smiles some more and runs off.

What is this? Everything has been weird since I exited Megaton ... well except Raiders killing children. That's pretty normal.
I ask around town and no one is named West. In fact alot of the people are unhappy to see me because Shorty killed himself under my supervision. Uh. Sort of.

I continue walking north.. a raider challenges me to a melee duel.

I don't play by her rules.

Sweet. I have a sword now! The raider attacked me close to a secluded house .. I investigate to find an old woman eating an even older piece of bread.
If I just blew up her daughter this is going to get awkward.

As luck(?) would have it she is all alone in the world and all she wants is a violin. I take a whole bunch of bullets and bombs from her and promise that I might maybe come by and give her the violin sometime. Maybe.

It's a fair trade.

It's a pretty dull walk towards minefield. Not alot of enemies and not alot of ... well not alot of anything! It's just a barren wasteland. Man. It'd be nice if I could find plants and stuff. Kind wildlife. Insects. It'd be nice if it rained once in a while ...
I'm sure you could pick all kinds of plants and mix them together to form interesting things.
Like ointments.
Speed enhancing ointments...

Don't ask me how it works I'm not a friggin alchemist!

I'm brought back to this horrible wasteland by the realisation that I'm under attack. A raider saw my sword and challenged me with her knife. We fence a bit, we both perform well when bullets start coming in like rain in London!

They hit us both. Killing her and seriously wounding me.

I have to use up all my medical supplies and turn on a stealth boy that Agatha gave me to get past these guys ... man. That was intense! I can't believe I had my ass handed to me like that by mere RAIDERS!

I suppose it could be worse though. I could actually be in London! Thank god I'm in the good ol' wasteland of the good ol' USA!

I've reached minefield. I've been sneaking the entire way because there might be more raiders about... haven't run into the West family so if I continue north it's going to be a hell of a detour. Maybe I should just ignore her. But then again I want to give her all I got. What a PAIN!

Moira wanted me to reach the playground and return. That won't be too hard.. with my explosive know-how I'll be able to disarm all the mines and just go back. See any mines? Neither do I. That means they're hidden in the grass.. and since I know where to look that's that. Piece of cake!

... until it started raining bullets again. I didn't know where they came from and then a car exploded, sending me scurrying for cover like a cockroach!

The bullets kept coming but I was safe. I took cover in some ruins and was bleedin' BAD. Jesus christ this was supposed to be easy! I didn't want to fight!

I gulfed down all the food I had and some buffout too. Now what the hell was happening? How many people are attacking me?

Oh I see. I see you. You're a bitchy little raider sitting up there with your rifle huh? Well I know you're there and I'm behind cover and I'm BUFFED. OUT.
I use my scoped magnum and shoot at him. The odds are bad because my arm is busted up from the explosion and the magnum is falling apart .. but I get lucky and a bullet hits him in the side and he goes down. Good riddance!

He must have all kinds of valuables over there. He's a tough one, the toughest one yet. Great aim, big gun.. I'm scared shitless and sneak over there. Hoping there's no one else.. and I find an old ... man.. ?

Wow. Talk about the older generation fighting back.

It's like I'm not even in the same world anymore. Did something happen at my last level up? (take a swig!) the elderly are dangerous. Raiders kick my ass. Mutants frequent Big Town withoug shooting up the place. Bittercup makes herself useful ... something is very wrong.

Giving bullets to a dying man

2009-03-02T16:02:00.011+01:00

The sun is scorching hot. I stand at a railing looking out over the town of megaton.. I barely see any people just the dry sand in the air and sharp pieces of metal sticking out from everywhere.
It's more of a scrapyard than a town.

Even the raiders had a sweeter getup than this!

At least I feel safe here. Last night I staggered around in a blind, feeling my way from locked door to locked door. Taunted by friendly neon signs and christmas lights.
Lies. All lies I thought!

The absence of gunfire hinted at the residents being friendly though.. I was convinced when a woman ran up to me.

"Sir!"

I reached for my weapon.

"Yes?"
"Please take this. Everyone pooled together for you!"

She gave me 12 hunting rifle rounds.

"Hey thanks! .. you don't have a medikit to spare do you?"
"None to spare no."
"So you have some?"
"Well yes."
"Can I have it?"
"No. You don't look like you need it."
"You couldn't have given it to me when I obviously needed help yesterday?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"I was bleeding."
"oh. that."
"Badly."
"Yes I saw you and recognised you. I immediately gathered the residents and we pooled in to get you these rifle rounds! Don't you like them?"
"Sure but I don't see why you would give BULLETS to a DYING MAN?"

"... they're good bullets?"

"..."
"..."
"... thanks for the bullets."
"You're welcome!"

And with a smile she ran off.

I head into the general store. Maybe I can trade these bullets for some medical supplies? Also I remember that last night a little bird. A very ugly and scottish little bird told me that there's a scared woman here.
A woman who is afraid of something but doesn't speak of it. Her name was L ... Lynn.. something.. if I run across her I'll ask what is wrong. I feel the presence of love. It's here I know it.

My bad. It's just Moira Brown.

She's a funny and sexy and most of all friendly girl. Actually she's most of MOST of all crazy!
She has a vision. A vision of a wasteland survival guide! She asks me to help research it ... why. I agree! I will help her because if I do this surely I will recieve LOVE from the wastes instead of bullets.

It's not that I mind the bullets being offered as gifts. It sure beats the sandy and way too crunchy iguana-on-a-stick that Bittercup offered me.. I'd just appreciate not getting shot at so much.

Anyway Moira asks me about all kinds of things. My life in the vault... I lie about everything, mostly about the overseer. She hands me a sweet armored jumpsuit.

I go looking for Lynn.

In the clinic I find sick people .. that brings back memories!
The doctor keeps a watchful eye on me.. it's almost as he knew what I did back there.
It's like everyone always knows what I'm doing...

I don't find Lynn in the cult headquarters. I only find crazy people worshipping a BOMB .. and she's not in the bar. Where the hell is she? She's ... she's probably in hiding. Right? Since she's afraid? I better seek her out as soon as possible... and now night is falling.

I go into the bar and ponder wether or not I should rent a bed again. A fellow by the name of Mister Burke asks me to detonate the bomb for his personal amusement.

I immediately tell on him!

Me 'an the sheriff bust into the bar and order him out! He agrees to follow quietly and ... well... shot the sheriff in the back.

I won't have any of it.

Ok. This is bad ... I got the Sheriff killed but the bad guy is dead too. Right? There's nothing to worry about. Right? A bittersweet victory .. I only hope the people will be able to forgive me. Because I am. I am already over it.
Killed in the line of duty. Bless his soul but that's the way it is.

Moriarty is smiling about something behind the counter. Everyone in the bar is taking the whole shootout with surprising ease.

I ask Moriarty "what the fuck?" and he repeats that Lucy is scared. So that's her name. LUCY! now where have I heard that before ... ah well. I've seen her around. Talked to her but there weren't any dialogue options. (take a swig!) and I can't get into her locked house.

I figure I should ignore her and go to Minefield first and according to the universal law of irony she appears just as I stop looking.

She's a looker ain't she? My heart skips a beat and I get so nervous I can't even think about asking her what she's afraid of. (still no dialogue options? must be a bug. take another swig!)

She points me towards a woman known as Manya. To answer her own personal questions.

I have no idea how this "Manya" can keep track of everything since she can't seem to keep track of her own husband ... nevertheless she tells me about the towns history and other random objects. Lucy is from a settlement to the north.

So. Here's the deal:

1. I've got a job. I'm working for Moira Brown and my objective (go to a minefield, survive, bring back a mine) is up north.
2. I fancy Lucy and her settlement is to the north. Her family.. her name is Lucy West. I need to find the "West Family" and ask questions about her.

I've got supplies so Maximus is heading to the north! Onward!!

Maximus is MIA

2009-02-19T10:36:00.008+01:00

Maximus died.

No not really, I'm leaving for a vacation now and I'll resume updating around the 29th or something or other. If you enjoyed this blog please leave a comment to make me motivated once I get back and I'll work really hard on making regular updates!

Picture related. They are my travel companions.

ps. I'm honestly sorry for not updating properly today. I was going to but in the end it didn't work out, I am working on a whole bunch of projects at the same time.
I'll work hard on making this blog funnier! Instead of just letting Maximus drift around like some kinda... drifter!

take a swig!

A light in the distance

2009-02-15T08:56:00.007+01:00

Ok. I have NO idea where I am.

I am wounded and standing at the corpse of some kind of demon... there are three dead raiders, two dead rad scorpions, one broken robot and two dead civilians here.
For some reason there are three bloatflies as well.

take a swig

I am seriously wounded. So wounded that every breath that doesn't taste of blood is like a gift from above! I have no medical supplies and no food.. I wanted to eat the scorpions but when attempting to butcher them I only found the poison gland.
Great. That's the only part I didn't want to eat!

I am genuinely afraid.. I have never been this close to death before.. I should never have left TenPenny towers .. I should never have left the vault for that matter.. hell even BIGTOWN would be better than this!

I can't return however. Big Town is probably over run by mutants by now.. I got busted up this badly because of the grounds around TenPenny towers .. and around the vault I might run into guards looking for me.

What should I do ... I'm not cut out for this life .. so much violence! I need help.. so I guess I'll head to...

...to higher ground. I have a pair of stealthboys and boy are they precious! From here I might be able to spot something .. wait. What's this?

It .. doesn't look like anything at all really. There are cut blocks of something and that means someone cut it .. maybe wasteland settlers and maybe raiders.

I don't like it and I'm not sure what it is but it's the only close thing .. there are ruins far off in the distance but I'm certain the stealth boy won't last until I reach them. I'm heading for the quarry.

The last stealthboy wears off and I have reached the side of the place I saw through my scoped pistol (how does that work anyway? doesn't seem practical) and I can see I made the right choice. This is apparently some kind of habitat... please don't be raiders. Please, please, PLEASE don't be raiders!

MEGATON! The city of MEGATON! oh god I am so happy. It is a city! Outside the gates there's a caravan approaching and there's a nice robot telling me I'm welcome. Thank goodness. Thank GOD! I'm going to.. I have to.. I..

... after crying on the shoulder of the robot for a while, telling him how hard it was to get away from the raiders and what I had to endure. Sneaking away from packs of dogs and mole rats just around the corner, so wounded even a bloatfly could have killed me .. hell it could have worn my ass as a hat...
After all that I simply walk in. Time to find a bed and some supplies! Take it easy. Settle down. Sell my weapons and junk and maybe just ... be at peace.

Lucas Simms. The town sheriff and mayor, he's a nice guy and tells me where I can find the bed I so desperately need right now. Apparently megaton is a town built around an atom bomb ... a live one.
Eh. Well. That's... interesting, isn't it? Also there's a city to the south of here I heard. Figures. All towns are south of the vault and I've gone west from day one.

I know a fair bit about explosives but I'm not about to go tinker with that thing! I need a bed right now and that is that. Lucas points me towards ...

A saloon. I'm greeted by Collin, the owner. He tells me where my dad went but ... dad didn't really want me to follow him and besides the sheriff warned me that Collin lies to people all the time plus he wants CASH so.. no way.
I just need a room.. a girl called Nova offers me a room and some company for 120 caps ... I.. don't really feel like I can take the company. I'm not really in shape to pleasure a woman but it's her way or the highway so I pay up and head to the room.

I sleep for 12 hours straight! Apparently the "company" she provided was sleeping next to me... I guess..
I don't remember doing anything else.
The girl is called "Nova" and she sleeps even longer than I do. I leave her in the bed when I exit the room.

Something is wrong... something's ... off. For one thing I'm still a virgin despite sleeping next to an "escort girl" all night and ... what more.. as I said I talked to Moriarty .. he said he knew where Dad went. He seems like a nice guy, like my friend.. just like the sheriff told me. I should watch out for hit..

That's not it though.. I talk to his pet goul "Gob" and he tells me that there's a computer with all the info I might need in the back.. but that's not it. I'm not interested in finding Dad. Dad is busy.

It's something else ... Moriarty... where have I heard that name...

Mori.. Mo.. Mech.. Mach.. no.. Mocha.. Latté? Moccha latté fellow? THAT'S IT! The crazy broad I met just after I left the vault. The one who shot me in the gut. She was running away from MORIARTY! So THAT'S where I heard it before!

It seems I'm in the company of some really ugly fish here. He is kind too, I honestly thought I'd found a trace of human decency in the wasteland. Boy have I been wrong..

Well I'm not giving up on this place like I did on the Tenpenny towers. I'm sticking around! It's time to talk to the locals!

This place sucks.

2009-02-11T21:33:00.009+01:00

Ok I am currently in hiding. Again! You see this place isn't what I hoped it to be at all. Once I had descended the cliff wall I unsurprisingly found myself with the back against said wall... and the first person I met opened fire on me.

My weapon jammed so I threw the pistol at him instead.

It's super effective!

After that it all happened very fast. Now I'm sitting behind the counter in this godforsaken place with more bullets and syringes stuck in my body than hair on my scalp.

It was a nasty scene alright...and then I met this guy.

He's civilized and kind. He repairs my helmet and stuff. I'm grateful ... I guess. I've killed more than a dozen people, I've wasted all the rounds for my assault rifle and discarded it. I discarded my old police uniform too (sniff) in exchange to be able to carry a sweet LASER RIFLE and THE FAT MAN! You heard me. The tactical miniature nuclear weapons launcher!

It's awesome! I also found a bobble head doll.
Dunno what it's for but I took it.

The only thing I didn't find ... was love. Just bullets, weapons, violence ... and the promise of future violence.

Where is love? I leave the camp and look at my map ... hang on. What's this? Maybe I shouldn't leave just yet.

I wonder what's up there? Captives? Hookers? Love? Love dolls? Love captives? Captured love doll hookers?

OH DEAR GOD! IT'S A GUY WITH A FLAMETHROWER! AAAAAH!!!

He's following me! I can't see SHIT captain! I fire into the fire and .. he dropped dead. The guy had some ladyfriends who laughed their tits off when he was chasing me with that thing.

Who's laughing now huh?? I get out of there only to find MORE raiders outside. I guess I stumbled upon a large hive of the bastards ... so I run. I hear a familiar "beep" and realise I'm running through a minefield with bullets flying over my head.. I just manage to disarm the mines but it cost me. I'm a sitting duck!

I sprint and narrowly manage to avoid a second batch of mines.

God DAMN! I'm out of medical supplies and my health is really low! Just look at the blood on the camera! If I keep drifting like this the blog will end soon! (take a swig)

Atleast I'm safe now. Away from the raid- SHIT!

Scorpions! I flame them a bit and continue running .. only to find a fight between raiders and wastelanders! I figure they'll help me if I help them so I fire at the raiders with my sweet scoped magnum that I bought from Smiling J.. Genghis Khan.

The civilians were killed and the raiders turned their eyes towards me, they ain't too happy and fire missiles. MISSILES! damn near took my ENTIRE BODY off! Clearly there is only one solution.

Raiders. Meet the fat man. I'm lucky I found this bugger. I'm also lucky I found enough drugs to pump into my veins to keep me from dropping dead just now. I'm a lucky guy! .. I would be anyway if I didn't stumble into these messes in the first place. I mean seriously. I was running from raiders, then I was running from scorpions and met missile-launcher wielding raiders!

Time to collect the spoils of battle .. to be honest I was a bit confused at first. In all the commotion I saw weird shapes.. there were the civilians, the raiders, a scorpion and something.. w.. what the hell is THIS??

Freelance vermin exterminator

2009-02-08T17:36:00.009+01:00

GAH! Oh god! .. I.. I mean. Hello there.

I don't think ghoul women are my type ... not to be superficial or anything I just ... no. I'm not hitting on her. No chance. Zero. Zip. None.. I figured I'd talk to Roy about the whole Tenpenny thing.

Yeah he's an evil bastard alright. That other guy I met said that Roy "and his band of misfits" was hanging out back here.. I've only seen him and that ghoul woman. Her name was "Bessy" I think .. says she feels pretty when she's around Roy.

I'm not sure I agree.. I woke her up and talked to her, wanted to advice her against assaulting the Tenpenny towers.. she didn't really listen. She's in love with Roy and will go along with what he says.
I decide to seek out the rest of the ghouls and discuss the matter. Maybe stop by the shop, repair some stuff.. make a friend or two.

The details are shaky but I have the distinct feeling that the residents tried to eat my brains...
Apparently there are only three thinking ghouls here!

What kind of crap is that? Roy wants to move the ZOMBIES into Tenpenny towers?? I won't assist anything like that! Why I could just as well begin adopting MOLE RATS and invite them to the tower!
They even have a better chance of taking over the tower. These zombies are just too easy!

No. To hell with Roy and to hell with Tenpenny! I'm heading back to the settlement I spotted in the cliffs! You can all take your pancake recipies and forks and SHOVE THEM for all I care!

What is this? the RobCo facilities? Cool. I'm sure I can find something valuable in here! Like .. batteries for my laser pistol! Or a robot servant! It's getting so lonely to wander the wastes.. drifting from place to place like this.

Upon entering I notice that RobCo have a vermin problem .. as luck would have it I know a cure!

BLAM!

WHAM!

And the above improved through the magic of paintshop!
(take a swig)

OOps. I can't believe I forgot my exterminator suit.

This is a big one!

MORE mole rats!

Man these molerats are bigger than usual! I'm taking a bit of a beating here.. after the parents go down I can attack the children. I even killed a child trying to protect his wounded mother but no one wants to see that.

I actually only intended to take a peek in here but I can't find the storage room so I have to press on further ... and I found it along with an ABUNDANCE of energy cells! Clearly there was only one thing to do. To try and melt a radroach.

AWESOME! friggin AWESOME! I didn't melt him I completely INCINERATED his ass!... his abdomen!

Ashes to ashes little bug. I almost wish I'd brought marshmallows!
Now. Enough fooling around... I've been knocking off vermin all day. Zombies, molerats and roaches .. I'm a bit busted up so I'm scavenging the cafeteria for medical supplies and calling it a day.

... interesting. I've found a jumpsuit. It's really nice! I was missing my old one .. I strangely feel even more capable of repairing things with this on. I can't put my finger on it something just tells me th.. oh. there's a screwdriver in the pocket.

I spot a security camera.

Funny that this look works on me. Behind me is a mainframe .. it doesn't work and although I read a few books on science and computers I found I'm still oblivious what to do with it.. I kind of want to activate one of the robots around here so that it can be my own. There are a few unscathed robots here after all ... but no. I can't seem to figure it out.

On an unrelated note what is WITH the radios? In many places I've gone there have been radios on but no people that listen to them. No bodies next to them.. someone had left a radio on, lots of medical supplies and some ammunition and drugs just.. just to let the vermin come in and make it their own.

Do they think that the moledogs will avoid their stash just because they hear human voices? I guess that makes sense.. anyway I'm done here so I get going.

What I really wanted to visit is this place:

I bet there are nice people down there. People filled with love and honor.. the heart of the wasteland. Beautiful women ... surely ... surely I have come to the right place. This old trainyard!
I can't really make sure no matter how hard I squint. At the very least they should be able to repair my helmet ..

Wandering thoughts, splitting brains

2009-02-04T17:57:00.006+01:00

These guys are rotten. I am no longer in the mood for pancakes.

I find myself underground, surrounded by zombies. Dead zombies.. err.. re-deadened zombies. As a universal rule of thumb if you encounter a hostile mythological creature go straight for the brain. That kills them dead.

I wade through the rubble and bodyparts looking for some civilized ghouls to talk to.

It seems negotiations have failed.
These guys are about as dangerous as.. well.. corpses. It's a waste blowing holes in them with expensive bullets. I try out the sledgehammer.

JAWBREAKER! haha. ouch. that's horrible .. actually. Why am I doing this? Because of the biggots at Tenpenny towers? I didn't really give them much of a chance..

I mean sure I talked to them and listened to them chewing their own saliva, didn't make much sense to me though. They're all hiding from these things. These ... pathetic and weak things.
I bet I could take one with the baseball bat.

KA-POW! Man these ghouls are so easy .. I wonder how the residents at Tenpenny have been able to withstand the wasteland for so long. Getting inside was easy as long as you had some cash. Seems like a prime target for raiders..

Of course raiders don't have the decency to clean up and act civilized enough to bribe the guards. I can just imagine it now.

Sir. I am here to see Mister Tenpenny, could you let me in?
No way dude.
A little money might change your mind?
Sure. 100 caps and I'll let you in, I'm watching you though.
Alright. Here's th-AH GOD DAMNIT YOU FUCKER! FUCKING LET ME IN I'M GOING TO GUT YOU AND EAT YOUR ENTRAILS!!
WHAT!? you're a RAIDER aren't you?? Get out!

Raider boss: It's ok boy. Even I couldn't have lasted that long. Let's kill something else!
Raiders: WOO!

Still.. I'm looking for love. I guess it was stupid of me to judge the residents like that. Judgmental people don't usually get alot of love in return .. yes that's right .. you have to GIVE love to RECIEVE love.
I just couldn't stand that Millicent woman though.
Man she makes me so angry!

RIBSHOT! .. I know I said you should go for the head but this really helps me let out some steam.
*Sigh* as I pull my hand out of this guys badly broken ribcage I can't help to think about Millicent .. even if I went back there I couldn't stand her.. no. No I won't go back. I can't worry about all the rumors there. I couldn't .. live there.

I must keep going. Maybe the ghouls will be more civilized.

Oh hey this one had a fork on him. I took it .. once I get a place to live I'll put the fork there for everyone to see.
It's a conversation piece!
(Yes Nondrick that was a nudge in your direction! also: take a swig!)

That's all the feral ghouls it seems. I suddenly stumble upon someone with a gun and a working brain.

Hey nice hat! You look like a golf ball too! We're a pair of goof balls!

Michael here told me that Roy, the leader of these ghouls is around and has a plan to kill all the people at TenPenny tower ... it sounds evil. Is there no love to be found here either? Must I sacrifice all those people for the ghouls to live in peace? Will they learn to love and share their love when all humans are dead?

What are ghoul women like?

This, I must investigate!

Ghouls, pancakes and english muffins

2009-01-31T12:32:00.014+01:00

I take a look around outdoors before heading in.

Some doctor was wandering around and talked about "ghouls" and "ghoul disease" and "ghoul stew with a side of pancakes" ... I guess that ghouls are zombies. Rotting from the insides and psycopath killers just WAITING to happen.. psycho killers that go well with pancakes.

CIVILIZED SOCIETY AT LAST! If civilization is measured in view-obscuring pillars surely I have come to the right place! I feel at home and these people aren't even wearing jumpsuits! They're wearing proper CLOTHES!
It sure won't do walking around with this golf ball on my head and a weapon in plain sight!

Sadly I have discarded my old jumpsuit along the way so this is really the only formal wear I have ... the old security guard uniform.

I can't help but feel that I look oddly feminine in spite of the combover and moustache.

God I hope no one makes fun of my comb-over. It's time to mingle!

The guard said I shouldn't bother the guests but he can go suck it.

I've got so much firepower he won't dare do anything to me!

Plus I'm a nice guy.

I'm sure I'll get along with these people!

Everyone's apparently afraid of the delicious ghouls. The women aren't lookers but a charming fellow called Anthony had some distinct style and ... pointed out my lack thereof. He says I should visit his shop and buy some new threads.

You know I might just do th-

OH GOD ANOTHER ROBOT!

... though instead of shooting at me it's offering me a drink. Thanks but no thanks I've saved most of the alcohol I have found in case I ever want to commit suicide by liver poisoning later on.
Now all that's left is to find love here at the Tenpenny Towers! I'll wait until tomorrow before bothering the citizens with this. I'm dead tired so I'll just hang with Shakes here for the rest of the night.

I chug a bottle of whisky and fall asleep in the chair .. when I wake up there's an old hag guzzling down nuka cola in front of me. It's NOT what I came here to see.
I get up and go shopping.

Now THAT'S fabulous! I still look creepy and have that hunched-forward blank stare but at least I dress alright and my combover is safely covered up. Time to pick up some dames!

... this place sucks. The women are one of the following:
1. Braindead dolls repeating "it's so nice to live at Tenpenny Towers!" over and over.
2. Old hags who are afraid of a few ghouls.
3. Stuck-up bitches like this one:

MILLICENT! Millicent WELLINGTON! That's my name! My dear we're related my father has told me about you! not ... not anything nice but he told me about you!
My conversation with her went kind of like this:

"Hello there!"
Hello! You have the pleasure of adressing Millicent Wellington, you may call me Lady Wellington or madame Wellington.
"Well ... sure I guess. Hello Madame!"
How polite of you! You're well mannered considering your poor breading.
" ... we're related."
Oh hush. Of course we're not, you're some wastelander.
"No, really. I'm James kid. Maximus?"
Whatever.
"..."
...
"So what's new?"
Everyone's talking about ghouls. Ick. Could you imagine?
"Are they really good with pancakes?"
What? Are you crazy? Let's not talk about ghouls. I'm FAR more interesting!
"You just want attention, don't you?"
Why the nerve! I expect an apology!
"No. Fuck you Millicent. It's too bad the world doesn't revolve around you, isn't it?"
WHAT?? This conversation is OVER! Did you hear that Edgar?? Did you hear what this lowlife scum said about me?"

Edgar: "Yes yes dear I heard. That's interesting."

Truth be told I expected Edgar to challenge me to a duel or something over his wifes honor.. their relationship doesn't seem all that peachy.
This place sucks. Everyone's afraid of a few ghouls and by god they're not doing anything about them either.. the people are elitistic halfwits covering in these cramped rooms.
I can't believe they don't stand up for themselves.. this place houses no love. This place... is worse than the wasteland. It's a heart-crushing mind-numbing and dusty place to live. It's like being at a teaparty with your moms friends and they're all spreading nasty rumors about eachother.

Fake smiles. Stained teeth. Those delicious english muffins.

Screw this. I put my armor on and go to find the ghouls.. the logic is that if they ARE psychopath killers I'll have something to go with my pancakes... when I find some.
If they're nice and people-ish (read: regular killers) I might find love..

Oh sh... Damn Ghoul came running straight at me, either to attack or .. to hug. I don't see why he would hug me so I'm pretty sure he just attacked. Let's go with attacked.

So the humans are stuck-up and disillusioned jerks and the ghouls attack on sight. Is there REALLY no love in the wasteland? .. no no. I mustn't lose hope. Murphy was nice, these guys will also be nice I'm sure of it!

fffffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Fighting myself to the top

2009-01-28T01:42:00.010+01:00

This post begins painfully (take a swig!) when I stepped on a landmine near the structure seen in the last post.

I disarmed another mine and pocketed it when lasers started lighting up my immediate vicinity. It was another of those stupid-looking robots but from within the structure I saw movement. I didn't know what it was so I let him poke his head out and take care of the robot.

Great. He's a repairman or something. Both the shotgun and the missile launcher could use a workover ... I'm actually angry and want to ask him why the hell he didn't warn me, the CUSTOMER about the landmines but feel ... curiously unable to do so. I'm way too distracted by the fact that he's wearing two pairs of goggles.

He demands a fortune to repair my broken weaponry so I just sell him the broken parts, the chinese pistol, the .32 pistol and random junk. Bought myself a few grenades!

Continuing southward! I am ... immediately attacked by raiders.

The first raider is a cute girl with a feisty attitude.
I teach her some manners.

I tried to melt the head of her boyfriend with mixed results.

I had no idea laser could do that! It seems scientifically impossible but I didn't have time to think about it because I was attacked by...

... a female raider not wearing any pants.
Hey whatever works for you, toots!

Maybe she's wearing incredibly short shorts? That doesn't count as pants so I'm still right... I have time to consider these questions now because out of the remaining two raiders one has blown himself up and injured his friend.

His friend looks scared.

She should be! I've picked up a sledgehammer and I'm about to "break it in" heh.

WHAM! OUT OF THE BALL PARK! HOMERUN!

...

That was nasty. I shouldn't enjoy killing human beings this much... I think this was more than self defense.. this is bad. The wasteland is seeping into my heart.. I need to find a town and redeem my actions.

I guess... I guess this will do but why should I bother with some shantytown when I've spotted something much more..

INTERESTING!

LIGHTS! People! Luxury! ... And some dick telling me over a speaker that I'm not getting in. I remember Robert and this guy rubs the same way. I give him some caps and even do some trading with him afterwards. I got a new cheap-as-free missile launcher!

It's falling apart already but it'll be able to fire the missiles I have left. Probably.

I hope.

Anyway Maximus have arrived at the TENPENNY TOWERS! I have no idea what's going to happen next!

Bugs, Mutants, Mutant bugs

2009-01-25T02:35:00.012+01:00

(time flies when you're being depressed. anyway i'm better and it's time to blog!)

Not that long ago I heard an explosion. It seemed to be close by here and there are corners I don't trust .. I decided to circle around the disposal area and climb a cliff so I could get a proper overlook. It looked clear so I climbed down .. and remembered I forgot to take a screenshot.
Damnit.
I had to circle outside again and climb back up.

God damnit! This isn't fair! Take a swig, I'm having one myself.

Apart from these bugs there's not really anything of interest here. Surprisingly the waste disposal contains only ... waste. I've wasted no time in gearing up in my anti-rad suit..
I'm questioning the efficiency of it however since it seems to be constantly letting in mild radiation but it's effectively reducing more powerful radiation.
I pop some rad-x and the mild radiation is STILL leaking into my skin. I'm confused. I don't trust these waste barrels one bit!

I think about wasting them (hyuk hyuk) but suddenly remember that I AM standing in the middle of a dangerous radiation zone. Maybe not the best time to pose for the camera.

Well there's no trace of the explosion here so I enter one of the buildings. Only to pose some more in my awesome radiation suit! .. there's no radiation in here but I don't care. I'm keeping this thing on.

Handsome, am I not? I can't help but feel that it'd be nice if my vision had changed in the game (take a swig!) or something. If my breathing would be rather Darth-Wader like or something.
I mean seriously LOOK at that thing! You'd think it'd at least make me squeek when I try to move.

On an unrelated note: I wonder if this is what the post-apocalyptic pest control look like. "Ma'am. Calm down. Please. I need you to evacuate the area and we'll sanitize it ... with bullets!"
Oh yes everything is better with bullets ... except my face.
I continue the exploration.

More bugs. "James. Call for backup, ammunition and a café latté!"

No actually there were only two. There was a bunch of alcohol and ammunition and medical supplies. Anti-radiation chems and what not. Cool! I find another rad suit and since my own is obviously leaking radiation I cut them up and sew them together.
That should do the trick!

Ah well. That's enough fooling around. With my new and improved radiation suit tucked into my invisible backpack I gear up and head on out. (did that one count? take a swig if you think so)

INTERESTING FACT: Did you know that scorpions hunt in packs? Neither did I but I was attacked by three rad scorpions at once... here's another interesting fact:

Super mutants and Radscorpions are buddies! I'm seeing them from afar but they're obviously not fighting. Odd! .. also. This is the first time I've seen a super mutant walk around alone like this.
He's either an outcast from mutant society or he's a nice guy or he's just wandering around on the outskirts of their encampment ... when it comes to mutants you can't be too careful because where there's one there's usually three more.
And one of them always have a gun!

Still. It's not in my nature to judge people. So I try to talk to him.. I try to be civil. It went down like this:

"Excuse me? I-"
"HAHAHAHAH! I SEE YOU! Hot potato!"

The super mutant throws a grenade over my head, turns, runs away.

"Uh..."

The grenade explodes far behind me and an awkward silence sets in.

"Weird fellow..."

The super mutant reappears with a huge plank and a huge friend.

"FUCK!"

That's what I get for giving him the benefit of a doubt!
This time I let my bullets do the talking and he runs away again.
I can't see his friend which worries me ... the .. rad scorpion is curiously non-hostile.

I placed a mine so I'd hear if he came back and scrambled to someplace with a better view.. if he's bringing more friends then, like I said, one of them is going to have a gun. A big one.

... not sooner had I put some distance behind me than I heard a dull thump and the ding of my experience meter (take a swig) told me that the friendly scorpion had met an untimely end at my irresponsible placement of explosives in the wild.
I didn't need fourth-wall breaking technology to tell me that the mutants were still around. I figured it out when I tasted the bitter, rusty taste of the nailed board he hit me with.

I ran. I ran and I hid on a rocky cliffside where he couldn't get to and ... bullets started coming in.

Isn't that just great? I KNEW it. I KNEW there would be someone with a weapon! Damn mutants. The good news are they have only hunting rifles. The bad news are that most of MY weapons work best at close range and I'm low on ammo for the hunting rifle.

Oh wait.

This will certainly do some damage! ... I thought. The rocket launcher fell to pieces after the missile had been launched. It was a nice explosion but I didn't see it too well since I had to dodge their retaliation fire.

I shot one of the clowns with my hunting rifle. The last one was low on health and I had one bullet left.. I took a deep breath. Focused my sight and felt that I had a 1 in 10 chance to blow the UGLY off his face ... I let the bullet fly and ...

I missed. His face was still as ugly as an unwiped molerat butt.

Nno matter. I remembered I still had my laser pistol. I descended the cliff, one fall at a time. Shot over and over again from whatever cover I could find until ..

Success! This baby is really easy to handle and doesn't kick at all! .. doesn't do much damage and it didn't melt his head like I had hoped but never the less it's a cool piece of equipment!

The two plank mutants have lost track of me but I can't help but worry.. it feels like I'm headed towards something extremely unpleasant. 4 super mutants in such a small area?
No way man.. the cliffs i descended are facing the south so I change my course accordingly.

It seems like SOUTH is the place to go! Awesome!

Man ... what a dump!

Science, charts and love

2009-01-21T11:37:00.010+01:00

It hasn't struck me until now how good the music is in this game.

I mean. What? Music? What I meant to say was...

HOLY SHIT A TWO-HEADED COW!!!

This is a bit of a late reaction considering I've seen them before and all BUT THIS ONE'S COMING RIGHT FOR ME! OH DEAR GOD I'M GONNA DIE! .. not really.
I saw the cow, or, brahmin. Brahmin sounds stupid. What was the name of that mythological dog I read about in class when Butch kept throwing erasers at me ... Kerberos.. yeah. I'm gonna call them "KerberCows" instead!

... that's even worse. Anyway it wasn't a mean KerberCow, he was just being chased by a bloatfly. I killed it for him and continued to a powerstation. I've gone a fair bit west of Big Town and nothing of interest has really happened .. I wonder if there are people inside.
Right now I am searching for a village or town of some sort. Anything that has friendly people in it, I have given myself a new quest you see.

I'm going to find out if love, romance and kindness really is dead in the wasteland. If it is I'm going to revive it or .. exploit it or something. I haven't planned that far ahead.

So this is the place I'm starting my search.

You might notice that I'm not very optimistic.
(I've readied my minigun.)

The inside wasn't interesting enough to warrant a screenshot though. There was a locked safe, a locked terminal, a workbench and some supplies.. stimpacks, homemade explosives and a "stealthboy" .. I wanted to try making a shish kebab but I don't have the material.

I dropped all my junk in there and headed out again. I engaged in a very one-sided battle against a few critters, once they went down I felt *ding* I suddenly remember what Dad used to say. I remember things about science and medicine (Daddy's boy perk) and I kind of miss him.

Have I broken the fourth wall yet? Not enough says I.

Maybe I should go and find him. Don't know where to look, though ... he doesn't want to see me. It's hard but I have to let go.
I'll smash some random critters. That'll make me feel better.

THAT IS NOT A RANDOM CRITTER! That is a huge ROBOT! (I can tell because of my science skill of 30) and it is shooting LASER at me! I really want to avoid the bastard but I haven't tried out my cheap-as-free rocket launcher yet. Let's give it a go!

This is my missile. Having missed the robot and about to strike a menacing shrub. I didn't get any screenshots of what happened next: My second rocket hit the robot in the gut and brought his health to a minimum. The rifle took care of the rest.

Let's make a drinking game. Everytime I break the 4th wall you take a swig! .. why of course it works retroactively. While you're bringing the homebrewed vodka and a tall glass I'll post the "how-science-helps-you-recognise-robots" chart.

You done? Well then let's have a look at this droid up close shall I?

That robot is no doubt the most goofy-looking thing I've ever seen. The other goofy-looking thing I'm holding is a laser pistol. It's. Uh. Another weapon I bought from the vampires for a cheap-as-free price. It's in bad shape but you get what you pay for, eh? I'll update you on my weaponry to avoid further confusion.
And to boast a little bit!

Melee:
Combat knife, baseball bat, spiked knuckles.

Small arms:
Laser pistol (41 rounds. ok shape)
Chinese pistol. (37, bad shape)
10mm pistol (37, good shape)
.32 pistol (8, bad shape)
Sawed-off shotgun (73, really bad shape)

Bigger arms:
Hunting rifle (8, ok shape)
Combat shotgun (73, falling apart)
Minigun (286, ok shape)
Chinese assault rifle (102, good shape)

Explosives:
Missile launcher (4, bad shape)
Bottle cap mine (1)
Frag mines (8)

If you're gonna find love you better pack some HEAT baby!

Speaking of love. It's said you always find love in strange places ... so I'm going to check out this waste disposal center!

Get Shorty

2009-01-18T12:54:00.008+01:00

(sorry about the lack of updates. had some computer problems)

It's time to head back to Big Town. I told Shorty that Red is probably dead but it won't hurt much taking one last look..

We found her upstairs, probably killed by radroaches after escaping her cell. Shorty cried and cursed while I searched her pockets.

A-hah! Found the key to the medicine cabinet! Wonderful!

I also found her cell.. knowing better I decided to take a nap. Wow. I haven't slept for so long I had forgotten how good it does the body! I'm positively HEALED!

Shorty didn't sleep and wanted to leave .. sneaking again I stumbled across some supplies. Wonderful! We also found a radroach that Shorty wasted all his ammo on. God damnit.
I gave him 15 rounds (not sparing anymore than that) and we made it outside.

Immediately as we saw the sunshine we also saw an explosion.
An explosion right next to us that is. I figure we're pretty easy to spot like this because an angry mutant showed up with a plank! He was easy, a few shots to the head and we were running out of there with no one to stop us!

Hooray! We've made it to big town safe and sound! .. Well not really. Shorty wanted to make a brief stop and shoot the wild life.

Instead of aiming properly Shorty threw bullets away like confetti at a wedding.
I only gave him 15 bullets is he going to waste them ALL? I felt I had to help him out before that happened, which it did. I was surprised though that he didn't fire the last bullets at the bloatflies, he seemed to OH SHIT!

I didn't get any screenshots of the fight but I'll summarize it.
Shorty had attracted more mutants to our location, I wanted to pull back and return fire from a safe place while Shorty decided to go medieval on them with his (my) baseball bat.
Once again I had no choice but to plunge myself into battle, desperately trying to protect the fool.

Shorty surprisingly proved himself valuable in this, he knocked the rifle out of the hands of a mutant and I knocked the mutants head off his shoulders. TEAMWORK! yeah! Shorty can have the spoils of battle. HUNTING RIFLE AND AMMUNITION! (now he can't waste all his ammo so quickly)

Things are looking up!
I feel we're an unbeatable team! So unbeatable in fact that I didn't really pay attention to the fact that we were approaching a house with body parts hanging from it in nets. Then all of a - WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING???
... AND WHY IS IT NIGHT AGAIN??

I quickly switch to my combat shotgun and take that creepy thing out!

"Rosie! Noooooo!"

An angry super mutant appeared, we had apparently killed his little pet. With radioactive tears running down his cheeks and powerful background music that tears at your heart strings he aimed a minigun at us.
Now here I'd like to take a moment to illustrate just how different Shortys and my tactics are:
To me the logical thing you do when faced with supreme firepower is to take cover and throw grenades. That way he can be hit but you can not.
Now Shorty... Shorty figured that when there is an obviously upset giant with a huge gun and LIVE GRENADES around his feet the only logical thing to do is to run up to him and hit him over the head with a baseball bat.

Damnit Shorty. You're such a pain.

Shorty is dead. The mutant is dead. I collect the spoils... this day feels like a complete failure but then I hear a nearby voice.
The mutants had tied up a delicate little flower! (actually she looks like she just crawled out of a pig sty but I'm trying to be a gentleman)

She doesn't tell me her name and I want her to tag along to safety but she just turns and runs... well.. I hope she'll be alright. This sucks. Bittercups friends are all dead and it's partially my fault. I... uh... wonder if she puts out regardless.

Bittercup doesn't put out but she is grateful and gives me 200 caps. It's not much for all the troubles I went through but it works ...

...

...I salvage their medical supplies and steal a wide variety of items. Some over 60 caps and 9 stimpacks and a bunch of other nifty items. Awesome! This definitely works!

It seems to me that good deeds are tiresome, complicated, dangerous and only result in a "thank you here's some money for the troubles" and nothing else. Bad deeds on the other hand are easy, rewarding and quite frankly they pay better.

Material values are of course only material values. They are easily replaceable but if people pay you to do good things while you can just do BAD things and end up with more stuff.. if people don't befriend you, tag along, put out and be more kind in general it's a different story.
... but they don't. I save lives, I risk my own, I shed blood and tears for these people and I am offered material compensation. Not a place to stay, not an invitation to join them for dinner, not a companion or friend ...

Is the heart of the wasteland so dry and wrinkly that the nicest thing anyone can do is to hand over their caps by choice?

Such a tragic world ... I wish to concider the philosophical aspects of being the sole caring person in the wasteland and paradoxally how brutal I have to be to keep the wasteland out of my heart.

... but I can't find a toilet.

Cripple Combat

2009-01-12T23:06:00.008+01:00

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Human.

Human who?

KILL THE HUMANS! KILL THEM ALL!

Oh.. oh... HA HA HA HA HA, A HUMAN, THAT'S A GOOD ONE! HAHAHAHAHA

... yes. I am wounded and crippled and a couple of mutants in the next room are having a laugh about the futile struggle of mankind.
This is one of those situations when I just want to stick my tail between my legs and limp far, far away.. the problem is I can't really do that with my wounds as they are. I won't last for long in the wasteland like this!

Thus I will search the super mutant hideout for medical supplies. I have ammo and grenades so I'll make it unless I get shot.. sneaking past the super mutants I find someone my own size:

SQUISH!

I eat the raw roach and press on. Only to find more traps and no supplies.

Good thing I know my way around explosives. I disarm the mine and the battle soon becomes one-sided. BAM!

I'm doing great! That super mutant isn't so tough when he has a minigun unloading in his face! .. I'll have to admit I got the drop on this one though. There is another who might be a bit more trouble.

From what I can tell he has a huge gun.. no. That's a broken lamp. Well.. the super mutant seems armored so I've taken precautions. See the lights on the ground? That's a cluster of 3 mines that I have placed just for this guys pleasure. I take careful aim and shoot..

...I shoot the wall in front of me and the super mutant notices it. Damn it's hard to aim a gun with two broken arms! I limp back to dodge the barrage of bullets he sends my way and wait for him to step on the mines. Oh yes. I anticipated his death but he only got pissed off and chased me around the police station. I'm slow because my leg is broken but he has TWO broken legs so I have time to hide.

I HID IN THE MOTHER-****** GORE ROOM!

An unpleasant surprise.

Luckily for me the super mutant didn't think I'd be disgusting enough to hide among the severed limbs of my countrymen so he just walked right past the room.
He tried to anyway. I emptied my minigun in his side and brought him down hard.

Christ. what a mess.

I've made quite a ruckus, it's a good thing the super mutants I sneaked past on the upper level, the ones outside and eventually the ones below have ultra-poor hearing! There have been gunshots, cries for help and explosions. It's almost as I'm not fighting a fortress at all but isolated cells!

Such nonsense. Still I think I've found what's left of the prisoners (and their caps) here in these bags so there's no real reason for me to be here besides getting medical supplies.
I follow a trail of blood downstairs.

Down here I find a few radroaches and a stimpack! I squished the roaches like ... well. Like roaches and quickly inject the stimpack into my arm when I hear gunshots! Gunshots and a human voice!

Damn. They're executing the prisoners?? I hurry towards the sound and find a large super mutant standing in a doorway. He's firing at something repeatedly, I waste no time in throwing grenades at his feet, severely injuring him.
He .. doesn't come over though. He doesn't even notice me walking right up next to him with the combat shotgun

Ever seen a man get sucker punched with a shotgun before?

Did I mention I bought a combat shotgun? No? That's because it's rubbish. The quality is so poor it's basically falling apart and I'm glad I was able to squeeze shells out of it to begin with. I'm planning to repair this.
Speaking of weapons, I find that the super mutant was emptying his at a lone, bound man.

Awfully dark, ain't it? I got a few questions ...

Why is this guys name "Shorty" ?
Why did the super mutant stand so far away from his target?
Why did he hide from the prisoner behind a door frame?
How could he MISS with every damn round?

I guess Shorty is just lucky like that. If you can call getting captured by flesh-eaters, bound and shot at as lucky.
Shorty is in good spirit and wants us to go look for "Red" the doctor of Big Town. So they're the only survivors huh? I lie that Red is dead because I just want to get out of here already and could care less..

... though I guess we'll have a look anyway because I kind of murdered his/her patient and I want his/her supplies. Whoever this "red" person is.
It's going to be tough. There is going to be battles, bloodshed and violence. I dress Shorty up for the coming storm.

Shorty isn't too fond of his new outfit but at least it offers moderate protection on unimportant places. He can borrow Amatas 10mm handgun and my old baseball bat ..
I wonder why he didn't just put the armor on outside of his regular clothes but I'm afraid to ask.

Amata ... will I ever see you again? I hope not because when you find out that I'm hanging out with vampires and ghouls and I've been killing creatures left and right to impress strange, gothic and possibly underage women as well as.. uh.. dress up innocent boys in homo-erotic attire.
I guess you'll find out that I'm not exactly the guy you grew up with anymore. Except I'm still a virgin and all that.

"Always with the dames..."

2009-01-11T04:25:00.018+01:00

It's all clear now.

I met this dashing young vampire slut who let me see the boy after I promised to make it "worth her while" so to speak..

The boy, Ian is apparently a murderer. An Insane murderer.

Apparently the family is taking care of him after he killed his parents and they were only bugging Arefus to get him out of there before something horrible happened.
...which it did.
Fuck.

I pretend to accept his choice.. I'm not sure at all what to do. As far as love and the cure for my virginity goes there is tail in every direction.. Karen, Bittercup and the girl who let me into Ian. uh. Betty I think her name was.
I mustn't think of that however, I must make the morally right decision. let's see..
Can I blame the villagers for protecting their own? ... no. Though they did a piss-poor job.
Can I blame the "vampires" for murdering? ... not really. I'm probably worse than them.

... I guess I'll just tell everyone the truth and depending on their reactions it's fight or flight!

Vance is very civil and says he won't pray on Arefu for blood or anything. He even gives me schematics for something called a "shishkebab".. I can manufacture it myself I guess.
I see what Ian means. The family are good people ... err. Vampires. Whatever, they're nice.

Except Robert. Robert is a dick.

I bought a missile launcher and some random odds and ends. I got so much stuff I feel I can beat the super mutants any day now! First it's of course the matter of the *ahem* get-together with the vampire prostitute.. Betty!

This image is not me having intimate by-the-hour relationships with Betty.

She had apparently forgotten about our little deal. She had also forgotten the very basic principle of being a prostitute and didn't offer her services to me anymore.

In fact Betty acted like a generic .. I don't know what. She just wandered around and stared at things most of the time. I vent my frustration by posing for the camera. The picture above is me on the RED LINE wearing my new and totally awesome golfball helmet.

Here is me in my brand new hazard suit.
Distrusting those glowing shrooms.

Ok. I shouldn't get so worked up. I didn't do this for Betty to begin with.. I'm doing this for Karen. I went to see her and the rest of Arefu ... I found myself strangely unable to tell the truth about Ian as I had planned. It more or less came out as "The family killed Ian. I killed the family. Give me cash." which isn't even technically true.

Karen was still happy though. She gave me some supplies and smiled and said she liked my company. I opened the whisky bottle that Evan King gave me as thanks for SAVING HIS ENTIRE VILLAGE and .. Karen made everything quite awkward by stating that she likes my company and sit to blindly stare into the wall.

It couldn't be more obvious that she isn't interested in taking the relationship any further. Damn.

I've been turned down by a prostitute and woman I just SAVED.. a LONELY and SINGLE woman! .. can it seriously get any worse than this? I'm in pieces. I'm going to go see Bittercup.

Now Bittercup was happy to see me atleast. The conversation we had went more or less like this:

"Hello there Bittercup!"
"You came to see me! I'm so glad. Look what I found for you in the wasteland!"

Bittercup hands me some iguana-on-a-stick.

"Oh thanks. You say .. you prepared this for me?"

"No I found it on the ground."

"... I see..."

Bittercup smiles.

" .. I notice you haven't moved the super mutant corpse yet."

"Nope."
"... and you haven't buried Dusty?"
"Nope! :)"
"Well.. what have you done since my last visit?"
"Oh I've thought about dying. You know. Sometimes I'd just want to light a ring of candles under the full moon, put on my beautiful black dress and just slit my wrists. That'd be wonderful!"

Bittercup smiles and gazes into the distance...

".. OKAY THEN! Atleast you seem into me. I'll confess I got some beef with the super mutants so I can save your friends if you like."

"Oh would you? They're not really my friends.. I don't need any friends and they don't understand me but I WOULD BE SO HAPPY! PLEASE SAVE MY FRIENDS! .. not that I care or anything .."

"... okay then. See you later Bittercup!"

"Come visit me again!"

I regret this from the first second but it looks like I'm going to go super-mutant-hunting!

You can't really tell since it's so dark but the super mutants have made a FORTRESS in an old police building. This is going to get harder than I thought.

Here's a different image:

Since it's night I am pretty hard to spot. I ... I was thinking I should attack and destroy the mutants head on but I find myself sneaking inside their nest instead. I guess I'm just not brave enough to do anything else...

A "gore bag" ... that's nice. Real nice. I really don't want to do this.
I really, REALLY don't want to do this. I mean. Come on! Why did they make the bags out of FISH NETS? What's so wrong with simple sacks? This is disgust- oh hey! I found a few caps inside!

I made it inside alright. Sneaking is the way to go! except .. I set off a trap and the blast severely damaged my poor arms.
They're both broken!
I pumped my remaining stimpacks into the arms and I felt much better. The fractures have healed and I'm ready to OH SHIT!

I set off another trap and I'm out of stimpacks! This is such a pain!

Surprises, surprises, surprises!

2009-01-07T07:30:00.007+01:00

Don't you just love surprises?

"Oh look at the cjute wittle baabyooOOOH SHIT !"

I found this little abomination inside of an old train yard. You see after I had taken a last look around the raider camp (found some mines, woo!) I continued north and spotted a group of mutants .. maybe 3-4 of them.

I didn't want to press my luck so I hid in a nearby trainyard as they passed by. It's apparently called the Meresti Trainyard and OH GEE was I in for a surprise.

The baby-boomer wasn't the only trap. I found mounted shotguns, beartraps, landmines, a ball pitcher, cows on chains (don't ask) and a grenade trap.

The grenade trap was directly above a familiar looking hole and a dead Mirelurk.

A VERY FAMILIAR-LOOKING HOLE!

See this? A few steps in and I find THE EXACT LOCATION where I ran from a Mirelurk up to Murphy and decided that it'd be quicker and safer to go above ground.

The super mutants, meeting bittercup, causing the demise of Dusty ... it has all been a detour from the mission at hand. I could have just walked up here and continued directly to the family instead ... what a pain.

At least now I know where I am and that I've got enough guns to take them on! .. it makes me thinking, though.. these traps were obviously set up by someone.

Did the family set them up?
Why are vampire gangsters afraid of Mirelurks?
What were they thinking with a baby trap that's so obviously intended to work against grandmothers??

Maybe I'll never know but I'll try to find out! Time to hunt vampires! LET'S SPIN UP THE MINIGUN!

The guy I'm blankly staring at is named Robert and he is not a vampire. I am a bit disappointed.. he says he's in the family and I can't pass.
I'm going to try anyway since people tend to go back on their word here in the wasteland.

I flirted with him but he wouldn't let me in.
I tried picking the lock but I'm not good enough.
I slipped my fingers down his pockets when he looked away. He doesn't have the key...

Not in hos pockets anyway!

The only thing I can do is to bribe him. How oddly convenient that this tunnel leads directly to Murphy and Murphys deal is to give me cash in exchange from goods I found like, right outside his front door!

I guess it's luck but then again I have sold him all my sugar bombs and I still can't afford to bribe this guy.. what a pain! (Where'd all my caps go??)

Still. They're not vampires and they're not shoot-on-sight crazy so I guess they're friends. The kid will be fine over there, if he is over there and not in some Mirelurk lair. To be fair. Now the town is near. I hear. I'm going there. to Arefus.

No one was willing to trade in Arefus.

I did run into a merchant outside though, didn't catch his name. Sold some stuff, saw a battle between people in power armor and some raiders. Looted the raiders and have more ammunition now. Went back to Robert.

Let's see what he has to say!

You don't trust me Robert? After I gave you money?
You're such a dick..

I am to find Lance or Vance or whatever before I upset something or someone I didn't really pay attention to Robert. Time to find out where that Kid went and perhaps put a spin on the ol' minigun!

What the hell? The vampire gangster camp is a chapel?

... and Vance is some kind of ... saint? He takes in those in need and clothes and feeds them? I really started to like the guy until ... he admitted to being a cannibal.

Maybe I wasn't so far off on the vampire guess. He's followed by his consort and his men are nearby which means that ... I am surrounded by cannibals! .. I try not to freak out and act like I'm perfectly ok with his ways.

He is pleased and starts asking philosophical questions. (Do I see FANGS in his mouth?) ... he wants me to chat with the others and find out about their identity and accept them..
I just want the boy damnit. His consort admits that they keep him in captivity and will turn him into a cannibal! .. though she tells me they don't eat the flesh but only drink the blood.
Isn't that nice? I guess that ..

RIGHT.

THAT'S IT.

These guys ARE vampire gangsters! but they're poorly equiped WANNABE vampire gangsters! Time to fire up the mini-g ...

... it just struck me. Bittercup'll be mighty impressed with me if she finds out I'm one of these guys. Maybe I should .. join them?

Or should I destroy them and hit on Karen as planned?

... how many must die for me to fill the hole that Amata left in my heart? (...at which point did the well-being of the kid stop being important? I don't remember)

You can only push me so far...

2009-01-05T07:06:00.019+01:00

When we last left our heroes they were being attacked by giant frogs. The bard and sorceress were trapped between two of them but the ranger and druid came to the rescue. The NPCs had killed the third frog and now the wizard is readying a magic missile to ..

Oh wait. Wrong game, wrong storyline.

What really happened was that I; Maximus Edmund Wellington got brutally assaulted by super mutants, critters, mirelurks and was now seriously wounded and in hiding.

As luck would have it the radioactive river has a strange ability to prevent my bleeding and patch up my wounds when I drink from it.
I guess the loss of appetite (and hair) is a small price to pay for a second chance.

I was still wounded but a faint glow emitting from my mid-section told me that I probably shouldn't drink any more water. Another thing that hinted at me getting away from the river was the sound of bullets hitting water.

The water I was holding in my cupped hands.

I freaked out. It appears one of the super mutants had circled the river and came up behind me!

We played a game of hide and shoot. Me hiding and him shooting. It's a good thing that I can hear him starting up his minigun and take cover before the bullets start flying. I placed mines best I could and found somewhere else to take cover.

This game continued for a while but ended when his friend came uninvited to the party and brought his hunting rifle. Once again I was on the run, didn't have time to take cover anymore so I just ran, ran, ran! Bullets flying everywhere and -
OH HEY! I'm back in Big Town!

I quickly placed a mine on the small bridge at the entrance and hid next to Dusty the guard. I took aim and surely, by our combined force we will prevail! You and me Dusty!
You and me!

WHOA! STOP! Dusty! I know he can't be seen yet but you JUST saw me place a mine, don't go check out what the noises are!

GOD DAMNIT DUSTY! You're such a PAIN!

Luckily for me though a woman saw the demise of Dusty and decided to flee from Big Town. The super mutant chased after her and I was able to recover Dustys rifle before bullets once again started flying around my ears.
Luckily they came only from the rifle-mutant because the minigun-mutant had given up the chase, limping.

Better yet! The mutant was so slow that I had time to set a new mine and duck to safety before he came back. I have no idea if the woman is alright or not.

The mutant stepped on the mine and was severely injured!
Now's my chance.

SUCCESS!

The mutant fell over like a dirty rag. This hunting rifle I took from Dusty will give me the advantage I need to take out mutants.The woman he chased even made it alive.
I'm really glad! ...until I talked to her.

Strange. I don't think I've seen her before but what do you know. Turns out she's very bitter, emotional and batshit insane. She's cute though so I'm kind to her and play along with her games. I pretend I'm some kind of cannibal graverobber or something.
She... makes a pass at me... while her figure intrigues me I'm ... not sure this is the girl for me. She's too unstable and she lives in bigtown which (let's be honest here) is doomed. They lost their only guard (because of me) I took his equipment and uh... I won't help them.

There's also the issue of her pondering gloomy poetry when her dead friend is like, right there!

Since I stumbled upon mutants instead of "the family" I kind of lost my way. I don't know how I'm going to get back there and I'm in no shape to fight. I'm low on all kinds of ammunition, too. I hate it but I might have to stay in bigtown for the night. Slavers and mutants have their eyes set on this place but I -REALLY- need a bed.

On my last visit I didn't really look around much. I found now that there are a bunch of people living here all depressed and scared. Had I wanted to I'd be able to kill the entire town. I wonder if Bittercup would like that. They don't understand her anyway.

I'm intrigued to find they have a clinic.
I'm less intrigued to find no supplies just a very wounded man in there. Next to him is a locked medicine cabinet but ... his wounds are far too severe for me to take care of. That medicine cabinet ... should I take the medicine from a poor and disaster-strucken town right in front of a wounded man?

Well. Yes. There's plenty of fight left in me but none left in these losers. The man is a goner so I put him out of his misery by picking up a nearby scalpel and cut one of his arteries. It looks like he died from the wounds and now I'll take the key from him and get my suppl...

... he doesn't have the key. What a pain.
(In hindsight it is probably a foolish idea that anyone would leave a wounded man with the key to the medicine cabinet. The doctor should of course carry it! ..not realising this at the time cost a human life. D'oh!)

After the incident I stuck around until daybreak and left. No sign of Bittercup so I guess she's pretending to be on patrol duty or something.
I headed north towards the latest mutant sighting because.. come to think of it it looked like the mutant DIDN'T circle around me but he was guarding something. If it's ammo I'm going to need it or I won't stand a chance against the (possibly) vampiric gangsters.

Through guerilla tactics (hide, shoot, repeat) I have conquered my foe! And guarding something he was! Batteries, health supplies and some cash ... It's not .. It's not that great but I suddenly felt better. More powerful. Like.. Like I had gone up a level!

BEHOLD THE AWESOME THAT IS MAXIMUS

I somehow sense that I am a real "Ladykiller" in this getup. I need to speak with Bittercup and Karen. With a gun this big they won't look at my comb-over anymore! .. wait. What the hell am I doing? This is no time to pose on top of playthings and pick up chicks. I have a kid to save! I'm heading towards the general area I was going for when the mutants jumped me first.

I need to cross a bridge to get there though and .. what's this?
A settlement?
There were three people and they all left.

...they're coming this way.

Time to try out the minigun!

KILLER! AWESOME! and it gets better. in their camp I found medical supplies, drugs, cigarettes, money, ammunition and a sawed-off shotgun!
(why one of them attacked me with a knife instead of the shotgun i will probably never know.)
I borrowed their outhouse and noticed it's getting dark again.
Did a day really pass? It felt like mere -minutes- .. I ponder the philosophy of my current situation.

I don't know how many creatures I've killed just to save the boy now. I'm saving the boy just to impress Karen. I want to impress Karen because I miss Amata. I miss Amata because I can't see her. I can't see her because I killed her father.

I think I have come full circle.

Notes:
1) "The demise of dusty" sounds like a cool song.
2) The party battling the frogs are at the beginning of the "temple of elemental evil" game. A game that's honestly not -that- fun and almost too buggy to tolerate.
3) I was supposed to write something here but I forgot.
4) WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY MOUSTACHE???
5) What's this? Aliens?

Heroically running away

2009-01-03T22:23:00.011+01:00

I am currently hiding behind the counter in an abandoned store at the Northwest Seneca Station. I'm wounded, I have no stimpacks and I only have 46 rounds left.

I'm not that far from Arefu and to put a long story short I'm hiding here because of a bad idea.

At least I've scavenged Nuka-cola and beer. I've eaten some meat but I don't feel much better because of it. I also drank some tap-water and it doesn't do me very good either... I decided to take everything of value in this store.
Since I can't open the safe and can't log into the computer I've gathered all the beer, whisky, vodka, cigarettes, turpentine, sugarbombs(whatever those are) and laundry detergents this place has to offer. I feel that chemicals might fetch a reasonable price and HEY! There's a first aid box on the wall over there!

I step out into the sunlight and I feel much better. Maybe I should check out the underground here, there's a stairway down to the metro station.

I suddenly feel worse again. Immediately after I set eyes (and fingers) on the dead guy a man spots me .. but he doesn't pull out his gun. Wasteland logic dictates that he is a friend and/or crazy person. Hooray!

A closer look reveals that there are horribly burnt people down here who call themselves "Ghouls" and they're making drugs ... eeh ... maybe not the best traveling companions or anything. I refuse to help them, I won't take part in any drug production!

They're nice enough to let me wander around their drug lab though. I find a tunnel in one of the backrooms, inside the tunnel I find peculiar glowing mushrooms.

They look strangely familiar. I am OBLIVIOus to where I could have seen them before but I don't really have time to think about it because a huge crab-thing attacks me and I run back to the Ghouls. They fight it and, uh, it kills one of them.
I feel a bit guilty about it so I agree to sell them my sugarbombs... I even managed to get 30 caps per piece.
The Ghouls are named Murphy, who makes the drugs and Barret, who died protecting him. He says I shouldn't mess with Barret or I'll get in trouble.

Apparently looting Barrets corpse doesn't count.

My condolences.

This armor is sweet! I miss the sleeves but I love the heat. What a pain it must be for Barret but I don't really care. He had a key which is labeled "Murphys footlocker" .. maybe Murphy doesn't mind me poking in there either? .. I'm not going to try it.

I asked Murphy about the tunnel and he tells me it leads to the family hideout. This is great! I can go in there and explain the misunderstanding and maybe they've seen the boy and everyone will be happy. No one has to die!

... both Murphy and me almost died.
See in the tunnel there was another crab-thing or.. Mirelurk? They're called Mirelurks. Anyway it chased me back up and we just barely managed to bring it down. I decided to check out the rest of the subway station and came running with moledogs hot on my trail.

Near the moledogs I found some stimpacks but I had to use them immediately.. I found grenades and mines too and with these I'll no doubt pack a punch but these cramped spaces just aren't for me, man. I can't maneuver very well here.

The tunnel seems to be going to the east so I'll just go to the surface and take a much safer route above land. Just head in the general east direction, right? Hah! What can hurt me out here? Mirelurks I can outmaneuver, bloatflies I effortlessly shoot out of the sky! There's noth-

SHIT! SUPER MUTANT! SUPER MUUUTAAANT!!

I managed to kill the mutant but only after he broken his plank over my helmet and my helmet over his knee.
He had friends and his friends had GUNS. Bullets flew around me and hit the rocks I was valiantly hiding behind with a speed that meant only one thing: miniguns!
I was almost wondering if that Karen girl is worth all this. I ran, hid, placed a mine, the mutants missed it, hid again, threw grenades, killed no one but heard them cry out in pain, jumped into the radioactive river, prayed that no Mirelurks would come from below, climbed the other side, hid in safety and watched the mutants scatter...

Jesus christ those weren't just any guns. Those were miniguns! How am I supposed to compete with that kind of weaponry??

I am out of grenades, I have 9 rounds remaining and I feel like ... well. SHIT!

I am in serious need of medical attention and I have used up a helmet. If Maximus dies it's all over. That's it. Blog's done let's take it down. I mean err .. if -I- die that's it for me. No second chances.

I need to find medicine and fast.

Strange creatures and a small settlement

2009-01-03T08:31:00.001+01:00

Ouch. I have been attacked by pretty much everything today. Roaches, guards, bandits, a crazy broad, some kind of critter and a dog.
It's surprising that a world that is in all honesty a lifeless wasteland has such an abbundance of predators. I wonder what the eco-system out here looks like.. but I don't have time to think about that now.

I have been keeping close to the river for a while so I've always had water to drink .. I don't know when I will reach the end of it though so it's best I fill up the empty whisky bottle I took from Big Town.

It's just that ... for some reason I couldn't fill the bottle with water. The only thing I managed to do with it was to drop it in the water, try to retrieve it and get radiated. What a pain! I splashed around in anger and noticed that once again I wasn't alone.
Two big claws were itching to make my acquaintance so I ran like hell, I left the river so not to attract any more clawed creatures when I heard gunshots. I'm done for! This is the end of Maximus Edmund Wellington!

... but it wasn't. The gunshots weren't aimed at me at all! They were aimed at that thing.

A fierce battle ensued (during which I hid behind a rock) and the people who shot the monster didn't make an attempt on my life so ... that means they're good guys, right? Anything that doesn't attack me is my friend, that is how the law of the wasteland goes?

That or they're crazy. This Wolfgang fellow might be really crazy and he knows it ... or he pretends to be crazy for some crazy reason which in turn makes him ... crazy?
I thought about the interesting philosophical questions regarding identity and mental illnesses when I noticed Wolfgang staring impatiently at me. He wanted to buy the junk I was carrying. Lucky me! He then proceeded to tell me about some town that had a mayor (that means they have shops and girls, right?) and pointed it out on my map. Lucky me! I am finally catching a break.

So I guess it's time to check the map and head towards that town he mentioned!

OH what a PAIN! The town (Springvale) is directly next to the damned vault! I don't want to go there I KNOW the guards are outside and they don't take kindly to me now. I almost got my hopes up for a second!*

I'll just continue towards the west/northwest and find some other settlement. Can't be that hard. I'll just climb a bridge structure I saw here and have a lookaround. There's ... nothing of interest to the west so I'll go north over the OH JESUS CHRIST!!

See this asshole right here? I was keeping an eye on the horizon and all of a sudden a huge explosion almost tore me to pieces and I crapped my pants! I was so scared I didn't even get a screenshot!

Evan King says he is being harassed by gangsters (what kind of savage world is this?? is everyone besieged?) and since I've been walking for a long time now I could use a place to stay for a bit... so I kind of agreed to help him out.
I'm ready to turn and run if things get hot, the guy says the gangsters haven't even killed anyone, just some livestock. They shouldn't be more dangerous than Butch.
All talk and no brawn!

King asked me to check on his little town. Sure, no problem old man!

SON.
OF.
A.
BITCH!

What the hell is this?? The guy has bitemarks down to the bone and the girl is ... they're ... I'm not sure if the gangsters did this. Since when do gangsters bite people?? They push them around and punch them they don't bite!

I felt sick to the stomache and braced myself enough to check the other houses.

This is Karen. I'm really glad to find her alive ... and ... she's so beautiful. She looks alot like Amata! She's in trouble and she wants to fight. She needs protection ... damn it all. I can't leave her. I have to pull through with this one... she seems dissapointed when I leave her to check up on the Eweers family.

The man is named Ken and the woman is named Brailee and they're both horrible people. Ken yells at me and urges me to leave, Brailee speaks of the "children playing in the yards" and how lovely the grass is. She's obviously insane.

God. A settlement of 6 and only 3 functioning people.

They all want me to fight the gangsters. Judging from the corpses though they weren't killed by bandits (maybe not by humans at all) and if they were I sure as hell don't want to fight them.
I hope that the old bastard Evan King is up to no good and that he's the cause. (that way I know I can take him) ... I wonder just what he knows. I should sneak into his house and see what ...

Well I talked to King and it seems he figures the gangsters have attack dogs... I wasn't able to get his front door open so I don't know what's in there... let's drop the subject. There's something more urgent. Apparently the Wests have a kid who's missing, his name is Ian and I agree to find him since I've already decided not to sit this one out.

I had begun moving out when it hit me.

Bite marks? Attacks at night? I remember reading about this in one of my comic books when I was a kid... VAMPIRE GANGSTERS???

(This isn't Oblivion! Why'd they put vampires in here anyway??)

I DO NOT want to fight vampire gangsters! .. but maybe I don't have to, eh? Maybe, just maaaybe the kid is alright and they aren't vampires OR gangsters and it's all a misunderstanding because one of those shell-things killed the people and everyone is just exagerating.

Right?

I borrow the Arefu outhouse and contemplate the matter. (Did I mention the settlement is called Arefu? Of course I did.)

I think to myself ... Y'know ... this isn't that bad.

*at this point in the game I thought that Springvale was a town that I had just missed when I exited the vault. I didn't see Megaton marked on the map at all and didn't really pay attention to Wolfgang when he explained it to me.

New life, new path, new friends ... actually they are all enemies.

2008-12-31T02:52:00.000+01:00

My name is Maximus and I've just made the dumbest decision of my entire life! I've run out of vault 101 and I am exposed to the inhabitable enviroment of the wasteland.

It's pretty safe to assume I can't go back in and I can't score with Amata. Christ what a pain!

Dad had left a message for me. I found it in his office while I was running from the vault. It basically reads "There is something I have to do, don't follow me, I need to know you're safe."
Christ what a PA-AYJ-NN! I've been alienated from my dad, my (soon-to-be) girlfriend and the entire vault in just one afternoon!

After some quiet sobbing and later some loud sobbing/wetting of pants I've decided to look for a new life (and girlfriend) in the wastelands. Amata decided not to come along so I'm gonna have to make it on my own!
Who can resist such a strappin' fella like me??

First things first however. I checked my gear.

Things I'm glad I brought:
2 sets of security armor and helmets.
1 10mm pistol and 135 rounds (also an additional 6 rounds of a different caliber)
1 baseball bat, 1 police baton and 1 wrench (that I strangely enough cannot use as a weapon)
7x stimpaks and 2x radroach meat
10 dollars

Things I'm not sure why I brought:
baseball glove and ball. keyring, scrap metal, a couple of clipboards, a bobble-head doll, tinted reading glasses, an extra jumpsuit, Butchs ugly tunnel snake outfit and ... a toaster.

I kind of regret not bringing anything to drink. I need to go looking for something...

Oh hey what luck! I've stumbled into the home of a gal named "Silver" and boy she's a looker! She apparently has trouble with some Mach.. Mech.. Mo .. Mocha Latté fellow. She wants me to straighten it out with him.

I don't know she looks like a junkie and a prostitute, I wanted to leave without getting involved, which I found myself strangely resistant to actually doing. I could only think of things to say that'd involve me contacting this Mocha Latté guy or simply mug her.. so I told her to hand over the cash or I'd break her.

A gunshot to the gut caught me off guard and invited his 3 friends to the party.

I did the only manly thing anyone could ever do. I wet my pants and ran far from the crazy broad. What a PAIN! Literally!

While tending to my wounds I was attacked by some kind of large critter and suddenly felt much braver.

Yeeeah that's what you get when you mess with Maximus the great! Slayer of the vault 101 overseer!

Oh wait I probably shouldn't brag about that. Amata won't like it if I do but hell! I have a new life now! I can't mop around because I've lost the chance to hold her strong but delicate body. Stroke her beautiful black hair and touching her oh-so-soft skin .....

...

...

...

I wandered around sulking for a while and came across a town-of-sorts.

They even have a little guard there! His name is Dusty and you can totally make him out in my totally awesome screenshot!

They boast with the title "Big town" but except the Dusty guard there's nothing here... only corpses, tired/scared people and burnt houses. They apparently have big problems with something called "super mutants" that kill and maim everything.

I got out of there like my pants were on fire! Not before swiping an empty bottle though. I can store water in this one!

I figured I'd head west because. A). That's where I was heading anyway and B). Because I think they said the "super mutants" were coming from the east.
Just a little while later I saw something in the distance. It looked like a fence of some sort with something clinging to it .. also there were figures moving beneath it. They quickly disappeared and then reappeared ... in my face.

Two people came at me with baseball bats! Had it not been for my armor they would have put my skull in serious jeopardy.
Too bad. The woman was really quite attractive. I fought them, emptying a clip between the two before a noble dog came from nowhere and killed them both!

I started thinking what I should call my new friend when he turned to attack me... I had to put him down and I figure he wasn't as noble as he was rabid. I wanted to name him "Nunchuck" but I guess that train has sailed.
... or something...

I decided to go towards the fence to see what the things clinging to it were.

Oh. Dear. God.

I'm not sure on the details but I'm pretty sure this is the universal sign of "You just wandered into the wrong neighbourhood, beeyatch" and felt I had to move out of there immediately!
The recent assaults on my person forced me to tend my wounds and I am now at 0 stimpacks and 82 bullets.

What a pain! The wasteland SUCKS!

Introduction

2008-12-30T21:43:00.000+01:00

I'm Aspgren and I've decided to blog about my first Fallout 3 experience. I have -NO- idea what I am doing as this is the first time I'm picking up the game.

Let's get the introduction over with shall we?

I wanted a geeky or loser-like character. Profficient in science but worthless in other ways. An uncharismatic guy who goes after the ladies.

This is the face I choose. His name is Maximus and he has a comb-over at the age of 21. CREEPY!

Maximus's childhood was nothing to special. He was bullied by the kid "Butch" he had lame parties and the hots for Amata (the overseers daughter.) He didn't let Butch push him around when he was a kid and when he grew older Butch and his friends were harassing Amata. Feeling the urge to run away but knowing safety was just around the corner he stood up to him once again.
They fought a bit and I have to admit Maximus did very poorly.

Amata was pleased however.

Until Maximus shot her father.

But wait, let me back up. It turns out that the code of vault 101 "Stay inside, dont go out, dont let anyone in. Praise the overseer" doesn't just sound like a religious cult and a breeding ground for ... inbreeding. The overseer was actively breaking his own rules by venturing outside.

See? He even wrote it down. Of course Maximus didn't know this. Amata woke him up and hurried him along because his father had gone missing and the guards had shot Jonas, his fathers assistant. Furthermore radroaches had swarmed into the vault and attacked the residents. The elderly died immediately and Maximus snuck by a guard who was fighting the creatures.
He found Butch who pleaded for his help but Maximus convinced Butch to stand up and be a man. Fight the roaches! .. and Maximus even tagged along for the fight. Good for him! Butch was so happy that he gave Maximus his trusty jacket and turned away smiling.

Maximus stole some things from Butchs room just to get back at him for the incident at the party 11 years ago.

After this Maximus went back to find the guard who had by now gotten killed by the radroaches and wouldn't need his armor, helmet or weapon anymore. Other guards were shooting the innocent so Maximus just snucked past them but got into a melee fight with a third guard...
Maximus had decided NOT to kill anyone but had to get past him so they fought and a radroach appeared from nowhere to slay the guard. Maximus now had two sets of guard armor. Sweet!

Shortly afterwards Maximus saw the overseer and the captain of the guard questioning Amata and threatening her. He thought it'd be in his girlfriends best interest to shoot her father. In the face. Three times.

Did I mention Amata gave Maximus her fathers pistol and that he only promised to use it as a last resort? I didn't?

Well ...

Look at the screenshot again. See that thing in the shadows? Do you see it?

I'll wait.

...

Yes it's a human head. It got torn clean off the guard.

Amata was sad, Maximus escaped through a secret tunnel and had (in panic) gathered a bunch of different objects on the way. Amata met up with him before he exited the vault, he wanted her to join him but let's be honest here. By putting three bullets in her fathers skull he has pretty much blown his chances with her.

Now here we are. Lovely freedom!

Here is Maximus without his helmet:

Reminds me of someone... not sure who.